2004
First
There was a party and I was sitting on a couch. I think it was black. I distinctly remembered the way it hugged me, I felt so small. I didn’t know anyone at this party and they were all older than me. I was 14. A loud girl with long hair sat down next to me, and I looked at my fingers. In the cases where I have enough nerve to say something to a stranger, it always comes out weird and desperate for friendship. There was small talk to someone else on the other end of the couch. She turned her eyes to me.
“Hi!” I think she was drunk.
“Hi”
She was pretty. Asian. A round face and a wicked mouth. There was small talk. I don’t remember what was said until;
“So, you ever made out with a girl before?” and before I could answer she was on me.
It was not just my first kiss from a girl, it was my first kiss from either gender. I had always looked at girls before, and had been in love with my best friend all through elementary school. I thought that it was normal to have a sexual infatuation with a best friend. Something all girls did. Now, with her breath in my ear and her hand brushing against my unfulfillingly flat chest, I had the odd sensation that this wasn’t something every girl experienced.
I was breathless when she let me go. “..so cutie, whats your name?”
“Kat”
“O-k Kat. I’m Lexus. You ever had a girlfriend before?” My eyes were wide, she hadn’t given me time to recover “uh-no..?”
“Cool. Now you have one.” and she got up and went to the other room. She was vicious, she was loud, she had the best laugh. She just left me there on the couch to attend to the rest of the party. And I stayed on the couch, still stunned.
A while later, as I was about to leave, I heard a call from the other room
“SHE’S HOW OLD!?” and she came into the room, a freight train “They make 14 year olds like that?!” she pointed at me like I was a statue, or a painting. My friend Reesa, the party-thrower, was trailing behind in hysterics.
“..How old are you?” I squeaked out.
“i’m 18! I’m a senior! ARE YOU EVEN IN HIGHSCHOOL YET?” I tried to be offended “Of course I’m in highschool… I just started though..”
And just as fast as she had been up in arms, she lost interest in the subject “Okay. Well. Thats fine”
We dated for a few weeks. Or.. rather.. we had a few dates. Then she dropped the bomb: she was moving to Seattle. For a while we maintained a phone-sex variety of the relationship. With that velvety jazz-singer voice of hers she made my sides hurt with laughter. She lured me into singing duets with her over the phone.
She broke my heart with such ease it didn’t even feel like breaking. It was just time for a change. “Oh yeah, I’ve met someone new. I think you should find someone new also” I agreed with her. I cried and cried but I agreed.
It made sense, we were far away and I hadn’t expected it to last all that long, as crazy for her as I was. In one of the last conversations we had, we sang “take me or leave me” together, and then she told me that she had never had a girlfriend before me. She had left me for someone named Mel, a large Mexican guy who lived 15 minutes away in the same city as me.
She hasn’t had another girlfriend since, and I am also the only girl she ever kissed. This was the first in what has continued to be a long string of disastrous bi-curious relationships.
By Katrina
