thelesbianlifestyle.com

Hot:

like it has been stated before, I’ve had many firsts… then again… when I compare my firsts to the common misconceptions about gay lifestyle, maybe not that many…

funny how I have a hard time remembering my first, must be cause I thought she meant more than she really did…

but I had met this girl online… in a chatroom… I guess she met me at the right time… I had barely started to question myself about my sexuality… heck was about time!! I was 23 years old and never had a bf… never really had much of an attraction for either sexes… I guess I was just too busy studying and having tennis trainings…

so I met her there… she was just out of a long distance relationship with someone much older… we got along alright I guess… we had fun, but was mainly all about being flirtatious… she’s the one who helped me question my sexuality… asking me how I’d feel thinking about kissing a woman, how about if she went down on me? how about if I went down on her…

by then I just thought I was straight until proven otherwise… but was very much open to being gay… well yes and no… I guess I didn’t want to be closed to it because a cousin of mine committed suicide for that very reason but I still sorta was hoping to be straight… ’til I turned 23 and by then didn’t care much about if I was gay or not, just wanted to finally know what I was!! lol

so we talked for a while, and she came to see me for a couple of days… I was nervous as hell and the first hours of her first day here were just horrible… I could talk, walk, eat, but I’d still look stupid… lol

we were supposed to sleep in separate beds, well she in my bed, me on a mattress on the floor, but we both knew that wasn’t going to happen that way… so I layed down in the bed with her, turning my back to her… she knew I was a virgin, but I felt bad not having told her I’ve never kissed anyone either…

she kept talking to me trying to figure out what was wrong, I flat out told her I had never kissed anyone before so I was worried I’d just suck… she said she didn’t care whether it was my first or 100th kiss… I said I didn’t want to kiss her cause I didn’t want to give her my cold… she said “what if I don’t care if I get your cold or not?”

that’s when I turned around and we kissed

I don’t know.. there’s seem to be something very unattractive about remembering being intimate with that girl now… but I do recall after kissing her I just knew I was a lesbian…

I can’t quite remember much about being sexually intimate with her… I do remember bits, but I never really enjoyed it… neither giving nor receiving it… which made me wonder if I was really a lesbian… that all changed when I made love to who I consider my first girlfriend whom I’ve met a little while afterwards… still wasn’t enjoying much of the receiving though so thought I was much of a giver…

’til I met my current girlfriend lol

there are so many different first times… some of them I’d rather not have… but I like what my gf says about it she says she doesn’t have any regrets… if given the opportunity to erase everything and start over she might choose to do things differently, but all in all she doesn’t have any regrets… I like that way of thinking… I mean there are some things I wish I hadn’t done with certain people, but if it took that girl and my ex to make me who I am today and meet my current girlfriend, then it was all worth it