2004
Fairy Floss
I looked over in your direction and you gave me a half smile. An unsure kind of smile, as if you didn’t know whether you should approach me or keep your distance. I wondered how two people that were as close as we were, get to the point we’re at now. Standing on opposites sides of a room, trying to think of an excuse to talk. I swallow the last of my drink, and give you one last glance before I get up and head for the door. The cold air of the street hits me in the face as I push the door open and head outside. I wrap my coat tightly around my neck and start to walk away, before I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn and look, and I see that you’ve followed me out of the bar and you’re standing right up close now. You give me that half sad, half unsure smile once again. I think I smile back, although I can’t be sure, as my legs have turned to jelly and my mind to mush. I search my mind for something to say, but all that falls out of my mouth is “Hi.” Short and sharp, with no feeling. You blink once or twice quickly, and I can almost see the thoughts racing through your head. I can see you almost regret chasing me.
“Long, time no see.” You reply after a lengthy pause.
“Mm, I guess.” I try to be as indifferent as possible. I don’t want you to see how much your absence has affected me. There’s still this stubborn little part of me that believes I’ll always be ok, if I’m the one that says the least. If I appear to be ok, then I am ok.
“It’s cold out here.” You comment. My heart stings a little at the mention of the weather. Have we reached that point already?
