Stay

Dec
2004

Its 6am, the alarm goes off and I roll over once again to an empty bed. I blink and look again but not much has changed, you are still gone.

I get up, get in the shower and get ready for another day at work. My mind is still randomly centering on why you left once again.

I start to feel nauseated and get a worried flush. I think to myself is it something I am doing wrong? Quickly I dispel that idea and go on to work.

All day I periodically check my cell phone. You do not call.

I go home and wait endlessly for the damn phone to ring. At half past 10 you finally decide to see what I am doing. You say that you are on your way over.

At 15 til 11 you show up. You say you need to eat. We go out and get Taco Bell. I put on a movie and we eat and relax on the couch. We fall asleep.

At 4 am I wake, I look over and once again you are gone. I know that you have just left for I have a delicately wet spot on my forehead where you kissed me goodnight. I sit for a minute and vaguely recall you saying something about goodnight sleepy head and I see in my mind the door close as you walk out of it.

I scramble off to bed. I lie awake for a while and stare at the open space which you could be occupying. I drift off to sleep thinking of how much I want you to be with me. How much I want you to one day just “stay.”