2005
The Love
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I am in love again. I have been in love so many times in my twenty-six years of life. With this new love I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing more spiritual and breathtaking than a love between two women. This is not to demean or belittle other forms of love. In fact I may not even be the best person to make such a statement as I have only known love in the romantic sense with a woman.
It’s just that there is something about making love to a reflection of yourself. Knowing what makes you feel good and having that map to work with. This applies both physically and mentally. My current version of love has to be the most compelling and odd form of love that I have ever been in. It is a rare moment when you figure out that you have met “the one.” Rarer still when she is hundreds of miles away and you really haven’t even met her. I’m online so much that it was bound to happen. We started talking about a year ago and have fallen in love with each others words over and over again since. For someone who always falls for women she cannot have this sort of love is perfect. It lingers somewhere between reality and fiction. It leaves no chance for fights or the thought that the grass could be greener on the other side. Simply because I know not of what the grass even looks like.
Part of me insists that I should feel dirty about all of this. Are you that lonely that you find yourself in love with a woman you have never met? The romantic in me is thrilled with the fact that we fell in love with each other’s words. The cynic in me knows that nothing real will ever come of it. Whatever it is, today I have decided that it is certainly something. It’s something incredible, it’s something romantically stunning, and most of all it’s just that… Something.
We all deserve love in one form or another. For so long now I deemed myself too broken to feel. She makes me feel and I cannot thank her enough for that. She is my muse and not a greater gift could one soul give to me. This Saturday I turn twenty-seven. In the real world people may think I am alone, but in my heart I know that I am far from it.
