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I have a crush. I may as well admit it. I haven’t had a real crush in, like, 10 years. Crushes are as important and dear to me, as they are rare. But I guess that just goes with the territory…

The thing with crushes is that they just seem to fall from the sky, just like that, out of the blue; you meet someone, totally unexpectedly and BANG! There you go… all the way down to the absolute gutter of Embarrassment Land. I mean, you can try and be dignified about the crush, try to be just friends or something else from the Great Behavioral Book of Crushes … but that’s just not what you want, even though that’s what you try to make yourself believe. And then there’s the jealousy factor, the total irrationalness of not wanting your crush to talk to anyone you know without you being present, the thought of your crush living an entire life without you… it can be so bloody unbearable.

But, there’s a good side as well of course. A crush makes you feel alive, it allows you to dream and fantasize and want, it makes you feel an uncommon desire and as long as you can more or less control it… all is well. You can just go on with your life and enjoy it. That is, if you’re not a compulsory crush chaser. Crush chasing is humiliating, even if it doesn’t feel that way at first. Trust me, sooner or later the truth will dawn on you and you’ll want to hit yourself for sending that e-mail or laying your heart on the line like that.

Now it may look like you have a choice when suffering from a crush: take the road to Joy or the road to Humiliation… But don’t forget that the road to Joy is mainly paved with tiles of imagination. When under the spell of a crush you’re always getting the wrong idea. Because your ideas are not based on realities. They’re based on what you desperately want to be reality. And even if that is not the case… if you’re living this totally inward, masturbatory crush… it’s still just dreams.

It may seem that way, but I’m not against crushes. I’m all for them, as long as they don’t last obsessively long. And there lies a real danger because we can simply enjoy a crush so much that, even though the jealousy and the desire can burn like hell some times, we want it to last forever. So what am I going to do with my crush? Well, first I’m going to savour it, enjoy the emotions that come with real crushes. Then I’m going to evaluate and balance the consequences of a Crush Chasing Action.

After that, no matter what I do, I will suffer some form of humiliation or pain. It is then that I will know whether the crush was worth having… the answer will be Yes.