thelesbianlifestyle.com

Being a lesbian is a natural part of who I am, just like the fact that I have brown eyes or curly hair. When I told my parents that I was a lesbian this past August they asked what they did that “made” me gay. Nothing anyone did made me a lesbian, I was born this way. If I could choose my sexual orientation I sure as hell wouldn’t have chosen to be a lesbian. I live in a small town in New York state where everyone believes in stereotypes and everyone has a phobia of “the other”.

When I first came out I told a small group of friends, my parents, and my sisters. Sooner or later word got around that I had come out and people started giving me weird looks. People even had the balls to come up to me and tell me I was a faggot and that I was a sinner who was going to hell. Even a few months after this started happening, I still get weird looks and I still get called a fag. As I told my parents, the only real choice I had was whether to come out or not. Lord knows that if I had had the bigger choice of whether to be straight or to be a lesbian, I would have chosen to take the easy way out.

Once I felt comfortable, I began to come out to a larger group of my friends. Immediately they stated that they should have known because I dress like a guy. I pointed out that a lot of other lesbians they know don’t dress like guys. In fact, you can’t tell they are even lesbians unless you ask them straight to their face.

Stereotypes don’t just hurt those being stereotyped, but those who believe in them as well. Stereotypes will always be there. It doesn’t matter if you know them to be wrong, you still hear “lesbian” and think a masculine looking woman. Stereotypes can be broken, one person at a time. Breaking stereotypes doesn’t start with the straight person, it starts with us, the lesbians. The only way to educate others is through action and word. In the past couple of years there has been a recent surge of gay culture in the media, such as Queer as Folk, The L Word, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy (as well as girl), and Will and Grace. Also, coming from the woman behind MTV is a channel completely dedicated to gay and lesbian culture.

It’s a good time to be out, be proud, and to shed light on who and what lesbians really are, one person at a time. We can’t hope to change the world in a day, but we might be able to change one person’s view in a day. We have to start small, and eventually the big picture will be fulfilled.

by Jess