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I am a 20 year old who is excited that I will be turning 21 in a few weeks. I am a college student who has a perfect academic record in every way. I am an older sister who is looked up to and who is always there for my little sisters. I am a daughter with a flawed relationship with my parents but everyday it gets better. I am a friend who is always there for my friends, through thick and thin, and lord knows that my friends and I have seen a lot of thick. I am a lesbian who has had to face discrimination by the whole town that I live in. I am a person with hopes and dreams just like the next person. I hope that I will have the strength to finish school even though it’s been a bitch to afford it. I hope that my parents and I can finally build a bridge to each other instead of putting up walls. I hope that others will accept me because of who I am and not what I am. I have dreams to be a wife of a wonderful woman. I have dreams of raising children. I have dreams of being a writer and publishing a book.

Who I am is more important then what I am by tenfold. I am a lesbian, that’s part of who I am, I am a butch, that is a what. I wear baggy pants, I wear hats all the time, I prefer sports to shopping any day, I have short hair, but it’s not a bad hair cut. This all doesn’t matter to me. So what if I’m more comfortable in a pair of baggy jeans and a hat than I am in tight jeans and long hair? I’m comfortable in my skin and that’s all that matters.

If you don’t want to date a “butch” then that’s your thing, but you don’t need to blame all butches for discrimination against all lesbians. Yea, maybe it’s easier to tell that a butch is a lesbian, but not really. I know a lot of girls that dress the way I do and aren’t lesbian, or even bi. That’s just how they are comfortable.

It’s a sad day in the world when a lesbian gives into, and believes in,stereotypes. So what if you’ve met a few people who fit into that category of the stereotype? That still doesn’t mean that all butches act like that. I have to fight an uphill battle everyday in this “straight” world, but I never thought that a day would come when I would have to fight an uphill battle in the lesbian community. Stereotypes hurt everyone, even those who believe in them, especially those who believe in them. I’m not writing this for me, I’m writing this for everyone else, who thinks that butch women are driven by pussy, who wear baggy jeans, and have bad haircuts.

There are more important things in life than pussy. In fact, my first girlfriend was a femme, and in that relationship she had the higher sex drive. I was rarely in the mood. And now, sex is the last thing I’m looking for. Before sex I look for a woman who is intelligent, funny, caring, genuine, honest, selfless, etc. I don’t look for a woman who is “hot” or who acts like a “whore”.

Labels are alright, but when labels are used to define a person for who they are then there is a problem. Being a butch doesn’t define WHO I am, but rather WHAT I am. Personally, I think the who is always more important than the what.

by Jess