thelesbianlifestyle.com

Okay I’m sorry this isn’t quite on topic for this month, but maybe we can go easy on me and class it as ‘all encompassing’ …. It was a comment I wrote in response to the latest entry on Stephen Bennetts website, but as I was typing it the moderator switched off comments. I put it in my own blog for safe keeping, but also thought I’d share it here in my own community … feel free to comment either postively or negatively, I promise not to get offended. We all have different experiences/opinions right?

Okay just thought I’d throw my two cents in … but first I want to make clear I’m no history or anthropology or theology expert, this is just information and speculation I’ve gathered along my travels into literature, and life in general ….

Historically it has been noted that some of the great ancient civilizations (Greek and Roman) which our modern societies were foundered upon, acknowledged and accepted homosexuality as an appropriate social custom, especially male homosexuality. Around 4 B.C. the poetess Sappho came to fame for her verses, some of which idolised female homosexual love. Throughout the Ages, through many of the European civilizations, homosexuality was practiced and accepted. Right up until the early 1900s there are examples of homosexuality in; literature, essays, plays, poetry. It is only really in the last century that it has become a taboo behaviour, and even this attitude – in most areas – is on the slow decline. The only real objections have come from the bible (and there is a great deal of debate as to the actual interpretation of it’s wording) and those that follow its teachings in their religions.

Now this is no way meant to mock or belittle those that are religious or follow religious belief systems; for those that believe God coddemns homosexuality it is their spiritual and constitutional right to hold such beliefs. BUT sitting on the outside looking in here, should those that believe that their God sits in judgement against homosexuals, should not those people leave the judgement to God and learn to love their homosexual brothers and sisters the way Jesus commanded all people to love one another? “Love one another as I have loved you” (Luke 22:1-38; John 13).

Now I don’t know the absolute truth to the question of how God judges homosexuality. I don’t know if at the end of life, all homosexuals will be sent to heaven, hell or pergatory – that is the great mystery to life I guess, what happens at the end. But while I live out my years on this earth, I only wish that I could find happiness with the ease that my fellow heterosexuals can. The religious institution of marriage is a sacred spiritual ritual, I understand that and in no way do I wish to dishonour it. But the lawful ramification attached to the ceremony (lawful protection as a commited couple, benefits and recognitions by law and state, adoption privleges, antidiscrimination protection) all these things I think I’ve earnt the right to as a law-abiding, tax-paying, active member of society, religious or not. Whic is why I think the laws against same-sex civil ceremones should be repealed. Likewise, I happily accept that there are many people in the world with religious beliefs they associate with (Christians, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, so on), and I fully respect their right to hold their own beliefs and I do not criticise or belittle them for that. But again, I find it hurtful to be told by these people (this is not particularly pointed at anyone on this list but more a general comment on my own personal experiences) that I am “going to go to hell” for what I am. If I don’t believe in their ‘hell’ why should they have the right to threaten me with it?

[This post does have a point (albeit rambling) I promise.]

But I made my peace with my choices long ago. What saddens me now is the number of people struggling hard to compromise the two polar opposites of their world, their homosexuality and their religion. I have no idea whether homosexuality is genetic or learned behaviour, whether there’s a gender/sexuality continuum and everyone has a place somewhere between polar extremes, or whether people can change from one behaviour to another completely and permanently. I don’t think anyone really has the answers. Stephen beleives he is a success story for the idea of ‘transforming’ from gay to straight, and that is his own personal beleif which I don’t think any of us should dare attack or criticize. Then there are others struggling to change from ‘gay’ to ‘straight’. Then there are those that after having been ‘straight’, ‘come out’ as gay. Both of these experiences must be devastatingly hard, mentally, physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually, and there is no doubt in my mind that some people cannot make the change completely whwther they themselves desire it or others desire it for them. And there are those lucky few who haven’t had to struggle with the identity crisis because they were ‘gay’ or ‘straight’ all along.

Who we are is who we are, what we are is what we are; it may take us a long time to realise our own individual truths, but I think when we do, no matter what the outcome, that we should be free to live life as we choose – to follow our own paths to happiness: as long as we aren’t consciously trying to hurt or harm others. There are ‘ex-gay’ support communities out there to help people struggling with their sexual identities, and I can only hope there might be a few ‘ex-straight’ support communities in existence too. I don’t think we need to name-call or mud-sling, to threaten or condemn. Those that know their way should be left to follow it, and perhaps even supported in their differences by those with big enough hearts. And those that don’t yet know their way shouldn’t feel terrorized by their family, friends, communities, societies; they should be treated with love and understanding, supported until they can find their own truthes. And finding a truth is about going on a journey, sometimes that journey requires; experimentation, making mistakes, trying out options, and making choices based on circumstance.

I hope everyone has a safe, positive, satisfying day. Peace.

by sweet_sage