2005
Breaking up is hard to do…
thank goddess it’s not me…
It’s interesting to me how people break up. I have a few people in my life at various stages in their relationships. I’m only speaking of the lesbian bunch for this entry. One friend is very “mature” in her position and what she says, yet, I can tell that she is falling apart inside. I’m not sure where that bravado comes from, and I’m sure I would probably do the same… but the reality is that ending a relationship involves pain, and somehow we need to be ok with experiencing that pain. It has always been my belief that pain brings growth, and that would be the purpose to relationships in the first place. I also have a strong belief that when people break up they should take care of that baggage before moving on into a new relationship, something I have not witnessed among the young branch of lesbian acquaintances I have. I watch the 6 degrees of separation happen more often than I care to admit, and for me, it’s just, sad.
I’m also in the process of watching one relationship fall apart. One partner has grown in herself, she is now understanding her need for emotional intimacy with her girlfriend, who appears to dismiss the concept. And while I don’t really see this process as a negative experience, I realize that the advantage my friend has is that since she has grown to recognize her needs, it allows her a certain distancing of her g/f. While she believes she loves her g/f, she’s also starting to acknowledge that her wants and needs are important. She tries to approach the subject and gets constantly turned down, and while she hasn’t completely given up yet… she has decided that she needs to devise a plan of escape… just in case. Now, mind you, I only hear one side of this particular story, but one thing I have heard over and over from breakups is the “lack of communication and understanding”
My question is, and in some ways it’s rhetorical… but what is the point of being in a relationship with someone if you can’t have emotional and sexual intimacy? Why is it that when you get into a relationship with your “best friend” all of a sudden you can’t discuss everything like you used to? What happens in lesbian relationships that doors close instead of open?
by dark angel
