thelesbianlifestyle.com

Ever wonder if your soul mate is out there somewhere? Or if there is even a soul mate out there for you? I truley believe there is a soul mate for everyone in the world, when you will meet them in your life only your heart will know. If you think back when you have met someone for the first time and there’s mutual intrest in each other, the first thing you want to believe is “this is the one.” The question is soul mate or not? I’ll share how I met my soul mate.

I know now that I have always been gay but growing up could never or would never admit it or openly have a relationship with a girl. So of course blocking out of my mind who I really was, and trying to live the life that society wants everyone to live I got married and had two chlildren. That relationship was more of a convenient friendship, simply two people who got along and like to party and hang out. That relationship lasted about 5 years the ironic thing is that when most people break up depression, sadness and hurt are what they experience. I felt relief like a burden was taken off my shoulders but never depression, sadness or hurt. SOUL MATE or Not? NOT!!

Hanging out and partying was one of my favorite past times and I did it well and frequently. During this time I met a girl that was always hanging out and partying in the apartment complex. I really didn’t pay much attention to her she would start conversations with me, we would chat and hang out I really didn’t give it much thought, just passing time. Eventually after hanging out and lots of drinking we formed a secret relationship. This went on for a few years but I made it very clear to her that she was forbidden to tell anyone we were together. One would think “okay now I know I am gay and I am in a relationship with a girl hey everything is great” WRONG! This girl had serious issues she was always picking fights with me and was jealous of anything that breathed. Being the type of person I was I remained in this realtionship althought not in love but never cheating because one thing I truly believed in is that the human heart is not a thing to play with. SOUL MATE or NOT? Definitely NOT!!!

The hanging out and partying continued and we met the married couple that lived upstairs from us. I became pretty good friends with the husband. We would hang out at the pool watching the kids swim and drink til we dropped. His wife worked second shift so I really didn’t see her much. I do remember one time standing in my kitchen looking out the back window, I heard her running down the stairs as she did everyday at this time to leave for work. I remember watching her walk to her car and thinking man she’s fine!!!! A thought was all it was because her husband and I were cool and I definitely know she didn’t fly that way because she was married to a man. We all hung out a couple of years and did alot of heavy partying and eventually she was hanging out with all of us. We all got to know each other more. We were one big happy partying family. Mind you I was still in my relationship with psycho girl, I was getting more distant from her but still faithful just trying to deal with her psycho ways. One thing about me is even though I knew I was gay I didn’t hit on anyone (girls) I respected the fact that most women are not gay and treated then as just that (friends.) Before I get any further let me introduce you to my soul mate, her name is Kelly.

I don’t quite remember how it came about but eventually Kelly started hanging out with us and partying and we were seeing less of her husband. I do remember from time to time thinking she is a very attractive , sophisticated, intelligent women but not gay and married. I was cool with just being friends with her and hanging out, even my psycho girlfriend enjoyed her and her husbands company.

One night we were all hanging out playing cards and drinking shots of tequila, and about to call it a night because my psycho girlfriend was coming home from work. Before Kelly left to go upstairs, she says to me that she had to talk to me about something. I said okay and we left it at that. The next day after psycho girlfriend went to work I went upstairs to see what was up. Kelly opened the door. Her husband was gone to work and we talked for a bit I then got enough nerve to ask her what she wanted to talk to me about. She said that she wanted to be alone so we could talk, I suggested that we go to this night club and have some drinks and talk. She agreed and jokingly I said then its a date. Out on this date we sat in a booth and drank some drinks and played a couple games of pool. After a few more drinks Kelly begins to tell me that she is attracted to me and has had these thoughts for some time now. I was floored!!!!!! I thought to myself it must have been the tequila shots from the night before at this point I was speechless and I felt ackward. We hung out a little longer at the club and then went home. I remember at home that night all I could think about was Kelly laying there in bed with psycho girl wishing that the night would hurry up and end so she would got to work and I could go upstairs and see Kelly. At the time I didn’t know Kelly was thinking the same thing. After her husband and my psycho girl went to work she came downstairs I could hear her coming down the stairs and I remember feeling butterflies in my stomach and my heart rushing feelings I have never before felt. We spent the next few days talking, well mainly Kelly talking, I was feeling ackward. She asked me if I was alright that if what she told me bothered me? I couldn’t explain that I was confused and shocked was what I was feeling. I couldn’t understand why she was attracted to me for 1. she wasn’t gay, 2. we were two totally different people (her White and me Puerto Rican) which was not the issue. The issue was that I was a very private, mean not really a social person and she was totally opposite and in my opinion way out of my league. As I said we spent every minute together until her husband and psycho girl came home from work. I remember that night right before she was going to go back upstairs I asked her if I could hug her, she smiled and said yes. Now let me tell you that hug was the most amazing hug I have ever experienced in my life. I had goose bumps all over my body and of course the goose bumps kicked in. With that she said good night and went upstairs. Now I could not think straight anymore all I thought about was Kelly and that hug we shared. Still living with psycho girl, I could not be affectionate with her and definiately not intimate because there was no love or feelings for her. This of course created hell for me because she was riding my ass hard, and Kelly knew it. Again that night laying there wishing it was morning so I could see Kelly and when her husband and psycho girl left to work the next morning and spending every minute together we could, I remember sitting on the couch at my apartment, I leaned over and kissed her. Now let me tell you this, I have never in my life felt like I did kissing Kelly. The warmth, love, excitement, thrill and believe me the desire to make love to her. We kissed so much the next few days my mouth and tongue was sore (but I liked it). We took a drive to a park down the street and we parked and were necking like teenagers. It got very heated and we jumped in the back seat and continued to make out and got out of control. I wanted so much to make love to her but we didn’t I told her that I respected and loved her too much to do it in the back seat of a car in a park, and she smiled. The next day Kelly tells me that she wants to go out to the club. So we went and hung out, drank some drinks and danced for a while. Leaving the club she tells me that we were not going home so we checked into a hotel. We talked for hours and I knew she was nervous and alot was going through her head. I knew she had never had sex with a girl for one and didn’t know what to expect. Needless to say it was the best sex I ever had and was hoping she felt the same way. She was a little shy after but she told me that she loved me and that after this we could not go back home and live apart anymore and we didn’t. We spent alot of time in hotels eating, sleeping, talking and plenty of love making. Now let me tell you something Kelly is a very honest blunt person and not ashamed of our relationship at all. She was ready to tell the world about us and did just that, I remember telling her when someone is gay and they say they “came out of the closet”, well she took it further, than that she went all the way into the living room. Friends and family all know and respect Kelly and my relationship. We have raised three wonderful children together and here we are 13 years later still as in love as the day our relationship began. So I tell you there is a soul mate for everyone and you will know when you meet yours. SOUL MATE or NOT? Always and forever Kelly is mine.