2005
I haven’t posted in TLL in quite awhile
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I haven’t posted in TLL in quite awhile. My life has been pretty complicated, but I really like this month’s theme’s so I’m gonna try and post on all of them before this month is over. So bear with me.
I need, I want, I have…
I need to be able to express myself in ways that other people may not always appreciate. I need to write, even if nothing I write ever gets published. I need to be able to love, openly, freely, and to the tips of my fingers.
I need to be in a polyamorous relationship, because that’s who I am.
I need to love her, while I love someone else too. And have that love be just as important.
I need to travel, to explore, to delve into other cultures and religions, because that makes me happy.
I want to live two lives, one with T and one with A because I love them both equally.
I want to have the right to marry, instead of being denied that right based on my sexuality.
I want to respect my governement, but I find so many faults with them that I can’t possibly support or respect them.
I want to live in a country I’m proud of, but I am stuck here in America.
I want my Dad to stop being a drunk, but that will be his choice.
I want to live my life, my way, and be happy.
But that will only come with time, and money. Two things I may not have.
I have a girlfriend that I want to build a life with.
I have a best friend that I’m in love with, too.
I have a family with problems.
I don’t have a job anymore.
I have a place in a country I no longer care to be a citizen of.
I have rights, but so many are limited by who I am.
I live here, I breathe here, I have paid for my freedoms, here. I don’t understand why I’m not allowed the pursuit of happiness like every straight person in the world.
And it’s starting to piss me off.
I have a home and a family who loves me. I have a girlfriend and a best friend, who loves me. I have food and clothes and a tiny bit of money, but still…. I am not happy here.
-LeAnn
