2005
Redefining
Note: Not related to monthly topic
I had an interesting encounter the last few days, which brought up a question that I never really thought about: how do I feel about trans people? Not about them, exactly, but about dating/going out with one.
Last weekend I got a really sweet message in my account on Superdyke (an online community) from a trans boy (let’s call him J). We started talking for a bit and soon he expressed interest in starting something with me. I was taken back, intially because no one has asked me out in a while, then mostly because I realized that I have never given much thought to the possibility of dating a trans person.
I talked to my friend about J, and when I asked him how he’d feel if I end up dating J, his reply was, “I’d be quite perplexed.” I asked why and he said, “well, it just seems to me that it would defeat the whole purpose of your going through all that trouble to come out as liking girls. Why would you want to end up dating a guy who just used to be a girl?” He had a point, but at the same time I thought, “why do you have to be so uptight about it?”
I still haven’t thought the whole thing through in much detail, but personally, as far as I can tell right now, I think there’s a better chance that I’ll date a FTM than a MTF trans. Don’t ask why, I don’t know yet, and maybe I’ll change my mind.
What do you guys think? Are you committed to only liking other lesbians when you come out as a lesbian? What are your thoughts on/experience with the transgendered? If you end up dating someone who’s FTM, would you have to “undo” the whole coming out process, or even “redo” it?
p.s. the incident with J didn’t end well, but it wasn’t ugly because we haven’t even seen each other in person. Well, I’ll rephrase that. It wasn’t so bad for me, but I’m not sure how he feels because he didn’t seem to want to hear from me ever again. Which seems somewhat odd to me because we’ve only had one phone conversation, and we’ve only been talking for a couple of days. Plus I don’t recall saying anything offensive.. I was just mostly being honest.
