thelesbianlifestyle.com

For the past 5 months I have been undergoing a range of tests as an outpatient. I have a new consultant (specialist doctor) – I have Systemic Lupus. This new doctor has been very thorough and proactive and put me through the vagaries of the two tier Irish health system where I am uninsured and hence must wait a long time for procedures and tests. I have been slowly wading through the waiting lists and getting scans, tests and x-rays.

I have had lupus for 14 years. Throughout that time I have been open about my sexuality. I have educated many a junior or student doctor on lesbian health issues or lesbian identity. ‘No I don’t use contraception, yes I am sexually active.’ ‘My partner is female.’ ‘Yes I still need a smear test.’ That sort of thing.

I have had 3 x-rays of my pelvic region since June and these have been accompanied by the need for 3 pregnancy tests. I don’t have periods (another story for another post!) and can’t give the date of my last period. As a woman it seems I cannot be trusted to tell them that there is no way I can be pregnant, that it’s indeed 19 years since I last had a sexual relationship with a man and even then I don’t think he came inside me!

The radiographer will not x-ray me unless the doctor says I am not pregnant. The doctor will not sign the form for her and does not like the radiographer and her attitude. I am being sent from pillar to post, coming out all over the place and trying to get the x-ray department to respect me as a human, a woman that knows her own body, and a lesbian. I eventually lost my temper and broke down on the third x-ray, peeing into a cup and getting a nurse to sign a form saying I was not pregnant so I could get the x-ray done.

So finally I went to the hospitals Chief Executive Officer. I saw the staff member in charge of complaints. I told her I did not want another pregnancy test ever in this hospital. From next week I will have a letter on my chart and a copy in my handbag. It will say that I absolve the hospital of any responsibility where I might be pregnant and a baby be damaged by an x-ray – and I can have x-rays without pregnancy tests as my medical history and ‘lifestyle’ mean that there is little possibility of me becoming pregnant.

I am happy about the letter but not delighted about having to go through rings and hoops to get it. Also the word ‘lifestyle’ is going to stick in my throat a bit. I know x-rays damage unborn children – but I also know that there is no chance I could be pregnant and I should be able to say this and be believed.

There is no training in Ireland for medical professionals on lesbian identity and health. I am only one patient who meets a few medics a year. A lot of other women don’t come out to their health professionals due to fear of ignorance and discrimination and who the hell can blame them if this is what I go through. About 10 years ago I was put through TB testing by one doctor because I had friends who were gay men and HIV positive. He thought I was at increased risk of TB. I have also been outed unnecessarily by a doctor who was presenting my case to his medical colleagues. It was not relevant at the time. I complained. Episodes of clinical depression have been linked to my sexuality by one doctor. The times I ended up in hospital as a result of hate crimes have been dismissed as not significant by others and indeed a nurse in an emergency department told me that I should keep my sexuality to myself and then I would not be beaten up.

My physiotherapist has been wonderful – she has given exercises to practice with my partner – no not those sort of exercises! She uses the right pronouns and respects me and my life. Why do I feel so happy about being treated like I should?

One day I will meet a doctor or a nurse who will not assume that I am straight, who will respect me and allow me to make decisions. And one day health professionals will have lesbian identity and lesbian health issues as part of their training.