2005
A New Writer
Hi there.
My name’s Sky, and I’m a new writer here at TLL. I’ve been reading for a little over a year, but never have had the time to write anything. I have the time today.
I’m fifteen (and just barely), single, and out. It’s a strange thing, walking through the halls of a highschool and seeing the clasped hands of a heterosexual couple in front of you, and wondering, idly, and in the back of your mind, where all the gay kids were hiding.
No one expects quiet, reserved, head-down-grades-up little me to be anything but normal. No one expects me to have a bipolar and borderline personality disorder mother and deceased father. No one expects me, with my long hair, blue eyes rimmed with a smudge of eyeliner, an Eeyore sweatshirt and a pair of jeans, to be gay. They look at me, with this startled look, and give me another once-over. It’s quick, but I catch it every time. They’re saying, “But…you don’t look gay…” or “If someone that normal-looking can be gay, does that mean I could be gay, too?” As highschool students, they imagine a lesbian to be football-loving, broad-shouldered, short-haired ‘dykes’. Not horseback riding, book loving, animal loving girls like me.
I pull myself out of the game and take a look at the players. I watch how we try to maniuplate one another. You say one thing, but you mean another. “Oh. You’re gay. That’s fine!” As the hands twist themselves and the eyes won’t meet yours. A lie is a lie, my friends. It’s easy to spot.
Maybe that’s why I prefer horses. When you cup one under the chin, and kiss its nose, it won’t turn away from you and make a face: “Ew. A gay human just kissed me!” Instead, it sighs and pushes its muzzle against your chest, begging for just a little more, please oh please.
People are cruel, I know. But I didn’t know how cruel until I began coming out when I was thirteen. I just didn’t think it was possible.
But. That’s a naive little thirteen year old girl, who had gone through a lot, but still tried to see the best in everyone.
Name: Sky
Age: 14
Location: Massachusetts
Personal Blog: Creative Muse
Quote: “Mr. Parker, in my job, you learn that nothing is certain. Nothing. Nothing that seems very good, and nothing that seems very bad. Nothing is certain. Nothing.” — Susan Lewis, ER, 24 Hours
