2005
Christmas Time
The tree sparkles, the lights and numerous decorations giving off an intoxicating feel of spirit. I want to laugh, throw my arms around the nearest person, and whisper in their ear that I love them.
Christmas invokes this feeling in many, I’ve found out. It’s amazing, the cheerfulness that even the state of Massachusetts (home of the Massholes) can muster. People are nicer, more thoughtful…something you never experience at any other time of the year.
We’re all waiting for dinner now, laughing and joking around the island. Doug and Alicia are here, along with Alicia’s boyfriend (one we all approve of, not that it really matters to her). Pat’s harrassing Doug, and Diane and Alicia are talking about the animals. Jaime’s looking on, laughing at the appropriate moments, and shaking his head at his ‘spoiled brat’ of a girlfriend.
And I? I step back. This is my family, but something keeps me apart. I want to be in their inner circle, oh, how I desperately want that, but when I look at my aunt, her eyes sparkling and dancing and her laughter, which, on a regular basis, makes me smile because of it’s heartiness, is louder and more frequent than ever. She is never happier than when her children are here. She turns into a person I hardly ever see: playful, able to take a joke, teasing…I can’t say it doesn’t hurt a little. Watching her wrap her arms around her daughter from behind, rocking back and forth, telling her that she’s so happy she’s come. Goofing with her son, poking him in the stomach as they talk about his work-out routine. I retreat when they come, so I can watch this transformation. And to think. I’ve never had that. I’ve never had someone love me so much that their spirits rise just a little when they have me come over. And I watch this little family circle, one that I’m supposed to belong to, but feel so, so far away from. I don’t have the courage to break in. I need my aunt in a way that scares me, because I don’t feel I can live without her, but I will not come between her and her children, ever. I may not have that relationship with someone, but I will not ruin it for another. It’s something you need to hold on to, that kind of love.
You need to cherish it.
Name: Sky
Age: 14
Location: Massachusetts
Personal Blog: Creative Muse
Quote: “Mr. Parker, in my job, you learn that nothing is certain. Nothing. Nothing that seems very good, and nothing that seems very bad. Nothing is certain. Nothing.” — Susan Lewis, ER, 24 Hours
