thelesbianlifestyle.com

Ahhh the ex.

Staying friends with the ex is a verrrry difficult prospect.

Either your new girlfriend will be completely uncomfortable with you being friends with someone whom you once did the horizontal polka with, or one or the other is still hung up on the other and there is a secret agenda or something else not totally on the level (this is a generalization of course).

Last year I broke up with my partner of nearly 12 years. After 12 years she was my family. I wanted more than anything to stay friends with her. Hell, I wanted to be BEST friends even.

Do we speak? Rarely. And the only reason we DO speak is because there are children involved (I have two children from prior relationships that she helped me raise).

I tried. I tiptoed and tiptoed. Trying to keep a handle on the friendship we once shared.

But finally I had to accept that she would not have the opportunity to get over the relationship unless she was totally disconnected from me.

So I stepped aside and let the relationship go. And now I’m ok with that.

My fiance had the same issues.

She wanted so very badly to remain friends with her ex. But anger and resentment prevented that from happening.

It’s unfortunate really, because there are parts of them that we both miss. We still wonder if they are ok and hope that they have found someone better for them but we are wise to keep our distance, I think.

What is a bit of a consolation is the fact that prior exes are now our friends. So there is hope still. Maybe in a few years when the anger has subsided we will be able to reconnect our friendships with them.

So to answer your question? Yes it is possible to be friends with your ex.

Can that happen right away? I would say typically no.