2006
Here’s the thing …
Okay. So 99.9% of the women in my life are straight. It’s been like that for a long time. Hell, if I could find a lesbian, I’d date her. But it seems that I live in a dyke-free zone.
I’m out at work. Super out. ‘I like girls’ sticker on the back of my chair out.
So there’s a woman at work. Tall, blonde, legs of a goddess. She smiles every time she sees me. Our paths collide a couple of times a week and we get on well, work well together. But we’ve never socialized, don’t know much about each other.
She has to know I’m a lesbian - hell, it’s stamped on my forehead in rainbow coloured 120-point letters.
All I know about her is that some guy stood her up at the altar, and she’s been alone ever since.
So I have these two tickets to a Billy Joel concert in about six weeks’ time. And despite my most sensible admonitions to myself about not getting involved with a straight woman - AGAIN - I asked her to the concert.
She said yes. There was a conversation about the cost of the tickets. Free, I told her (they’re not). “Cool,” she says. “It’s a date.” And then the look - you know the one I mean, ladies - crosses her face. “Sort of,” she adds.
Yeh, right. Sort of.
And the thing is - I don’t know, either. I assume that every woman I meet is straight, because 99.9% of the time, they are. So I never make passes, or assume anything about where a ‘friendship’ might go.
But I could see the sudden realisation that she’d just said yes to a lesbian crossing her face, and now I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. She has six weeks to come up with an excuse not to go with me. And I have six weeks to sweat it out.
And so my question is, am I completely insane? Does anyone else get why this is freaking me out? Am I the only lesbian just so weary of this whole battle?
I totally know where you’re coming from. Because I’m there. Right now in fact with all my straight, single, and married friends. I may be worse off actually. I’m not out but people always say they knew when I do tell them. I have no gaydar at all and I’m coming to terms that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life. There’s someone that I like and I can’t tell a.) if she’s a lesbian or b.) if she likes me. At least you have a date and even if she chickens put you’re still going to an awesome concert. If she doesn’t want to go, I will.