thelesbianlifestyle.com

Approximately 1% of the United States population uses physical self-injury as a way of dealing with overwhelming feelings or situations, often using it to speak when no words will come. Despite the fact that self-injury is far from rare, myths and misunderstanding surround this psychological ailment — mistaken ideas that often result in self-harmers being treated badly by police, doctors, therapists, and emergency room personnel.

In response to society’s mistaken ideas about self-harm, the American Self-Harm Information Clearinghouse was created to educate and inform medical and mental health professionals, the media, and the general public, sorting myth from fact and explaining what is known about self-harm. One of ASHIC’s (American Self Harm Information Clearing House) major projects is National Self-Injury Awareness Day. In this grassroots effort, people across the country and the world whose lives have been affected by self-injury deliver fact sheets, reports, and brochures to those who make decisions about the treatment of those who self-harm. (Taken from http://www.selfinjury.org/nsiad/)

The first NSIAD was March 1, 2002. Many people continue to recognize it each year by wearing an orange ribbon or wrist band. As a self-injurer, I am impressed with this — an organization seeking to educate people about self harm. Most people think it is similar to suicide attempt and that all self-injurers are suicidal. That is not the case. And, most self-injurers, when suicidal, are asked what their plan is, it doesn’t involve cutting at all. Another misconception is that it’s only for attention. For some that is the truth, but for most of us, it isn’t. It is a cry for help, yes, but also a way of expressing pain that we cannot otherwise express. It is a coping mechanism (albeit a bad one). It is an addictive behavior just like alcoholism or drugs.

The misconception that angers me the most is saying that piercing and tattoos are self-injury. Self-injurers do not cut to show people. It is done in secret and we work very hard to hide it from the world. Piercings and tattoos are meant to be shown off. They are meant to make a statement. I have three tattoos and my tongue pierced. It is a completely different experience than when I cut.

Many people do not understand self-harm and, like it said above, many self-injurers are treated badly by doctors and other health professionals. I have two personal experiences I would like to share:

1) I had a panic attack and a friend drove me to the ER. A nurse had been trying to start an IV in my right arm but couldn’t. So he checked my left arm (I had cut the day before). He didn’t notice and finally settled with my right wrist for the IV. When the doctor walked in I had forgotten to roll my sleeve back down. He saw the cuts and immediately grabbed my arm and asked “Been playing with razor blades?” in front of my friend, who had no idea that I was a cutter. He demanded that I answer him. He kept shaking my arm. When I finally nodded, in tears, he angrily let go of my arm and stormed out. He decided I was not having a panic attack — that it was a case of heart burn and sent me home, still shaken up.

2) I had gone to the ER for stitches because I cut too deep. When the nurse doing the stitches learned that the cut was something I did to myself, he didn’t give me anesthesia while he stitched me up. It took 7 stitches at the deepest part. The rest of the 5 inch cut was closed with butterfly bandages.

That said, As of March 1, I have not self-injured in 7 months and 1 day. (As of this post, 7 months and 4 days–and still counting!) It has been a long hard road and the struggle is not over yet. I will be battling this for the rest of my life. Some days are harder than others, but because of my family and my friends, I have been able to overcome the urge to do it on many occasions.