2007
"The Urge to Merge"
I’ve never picked someone who looks like me, and trust me I have come across women who seems to either pick (a) someone who looks like themselves, or (b) someone who looks like their ex.
My gf’s/ex’s have been more or less different from me or at least not completely the same. Sure we may have similar interests, like the same kind of music/movie/books, but if one of us preferred coffee to tea you’d be sure the other would be vice versa. I have had a few gf’s/ex’s who have been quite different from me, actually it seems to be a constant thing at the moment, even if I prefer someone who was more like me.
A similarity however has occurred, different or not we were always inseparable, and at the same time enjoy our time alone. At the moment I have found myself in a new role, and that is one of a gf who isn’t wanted by her gf 24/7. Some of you might laugh, but in actually fact I am finding this quite hard, as once upon a time (and several times after that) my gf’s and I have wanted to be together.
This is where I ‘merge’ with someone - not in the looks department, but in merging in the physical sense by being close to them - blame my issues of abandonment perhaps! So now when I am not found at my gf’s side I am either at home or with some of my ex-mergers, somewhere I am wanted.
You can loose yourself/merge with your ‘other-half’, even the name suggests that you’re not supposed to be two distinct individuals. If you don’t start dressing alike then you are forever by their side, your friends are mutual and if one of you doesn’t go then the percentage that you will leave the house/their side is highly unlikely.
I am one of the un/lucky ones, depending on how you look at things, and have since been told of the dislike of “our” merge and advised of the forced surgery to separate ourselves from each other. Of course this raised panic about if the separation was going to be of a more permanent kind where the distance is forever fractured and the individuals become strangers. More or less there is a pattern to this merge of two individuals:
- you meet - two distinct separate individuals
- you fall in-love and the merge starts - the two individuals start to join at the side
- the love continues - the two individuals become conjoined twins
- eventually the individuals begin to separate - independence is re-discovered and in most cases enjoyed while maintaining the merge by moving in-together
- the merge may resume or be forced further apart - you grow old together and you are referred to as a ‘couple’/ ‘each other’s other-half’, in severe cases you become the ‘ex’
