thelesbianlifestyle.com

That’s the question of the month, I guess, and I wonder if it must be so either/or. Is someone either an enemy of a cause, or a role model for said cause, with nothing in between? Rosie O’Donnell being the example here. Truthfully, I don’t think much about Rosie. I never watched her show, because I was always at work. And, now that I work from home, I still don’t watch “The View” because when it’s on, I’m, well, at work. So, when I DID see some of the media stuff about the Rosie/Trump “controversy” I was like, whatever and who cares?

Granted, Rosie is a very visible lesbian, married with children, etc. She’s definitely a voice for lesbians in that way, simply by living her life. But, I wonder, is her voice too strident? The first thing that went through my mind when I saw the above-mentioned clips, was, “Oh, well, I guess ONE of them needs some publicity.” Which totally turned me off to both of them. Maybe it’s my age (50 on Saturday!!), or maybe it’s my upbringing (Southern), but to me, Rosie (and the Donald, he’s not off the hook, either!) just has plain ol’ bad manners.

Now, that may not seem like much, but let me tell you, when I was a kid, and I had done something that my mother (the Southern matriarch) felt was not “correct”, and she gave me THAT look, and said “BAD MANNERS!” in THAT tone of voice….well, let’s just say I’d pretty much go to any lengths NOT to have that look and that tone applied in MY direction any time soon! Trust me, it’s a Southern thang, and those of ya’ll raised in the South will know exactly what I mean.

So, Rosie. To me, she has bad manners. It’s not that she’s loud, although she is, and that’s not really my style either. It’s just that I don’t care for rudenss. Don’t like it, don’t want to be rude, nor have anyone’s rudeness directed at me. Now, does that mean I just lie down and let people walk all over me?? It certainly does not! I have worked full time since I was 15 years old, and spent many of those years in the corporate world of headhunting, hotel management, and health insurance. In none of those fields do you get ahead by being a shrinking violet. And I did get ahead, and I was not rude. In fact, one of my clients in my headhunting days said he finally gave me business (lots of it!) because I was “relentlessly polite” (or maybe it was “politely relentless”, it’s been a few years).

I believe in the high road. I believe that when you sink to the level of others who choose to roll in the mud, you can’t help but get covered in muck yourself. I’m not a big fan of muck, it takes too long to clean off, and frequently stains the soul. One of the things I am really enjoying on this blog is that women are posting all kinds of opinions and beliefs about every subject imaginable, and so far, I haven’t seen any evidence of the “flaming” that seems so rampant on other sites. That’s a great thing when you think about it. And not always easy, it’s true.

So, for me, Rosie is definitely not a role model. While I can admire her decision to be out and open regarding her relationship and her family, I can still say her style is just not for me.

But, an “enemy”? No, definitely not that. Am I silly enough or shallow enough to think that a great majority of people are going to think “all” lesbians act the way Rosie does? Hardly. I do like to give people credit for having a LITTLE bit of sense, at least on the individual level, if not in groups.

Which is why I say there needs to be something in between; that old, elusive happy medium, if you will. Rosie’s a lesbian, yes, but she’s just one out of several million lesbians in this country. Her voice is loud, and she is a very “visible” figure. So, while I appreciate that she is able to get into loud, rude “controversies” with other rude celebrities, I can also say with great assurance that she does not speak for me.

Grumpy [but polite ] Granny