thelesbianlifestyle.com

I’ve read this blog for awhile now and I always find it fascinating. The internet is a wonderful, powerful thing to bring people together that would have otherwise never met. It also brings home the fact that there is a bigger world out there…especially the whole glbt community that I am sheltered from.

I am a different sort of lesbian. I’m not from NYC, LA or even Chicago. I live in Iowa and I know there are many of us here. I know this because I’ve met a few. I don’t want to go clubbing, tell or even show every person I know that I am here, queer and they better get used to it. I think that is a dangerous thing. I chose carefully the people I am out to. I am out to my boss and coworkers but not the clients and families I work with. I don’t like going back into the closet but I also know it is reality. The world has spent too long of a time in a wrong and hateful state of mind and I am not sure it can ever go where we all want it to go. Oh there is a difference, for sure. It is easier to come out to people now than ever before….but still scary. I am out to my family and surprisingly, now, years after I’ve come out, I am accepted and they all love my girlfriend. I still find this strange. There were plenty of years, no one discussed it…kinda like it didn’t happen. But even now, I do not sit in front of my family with everything pierced and big ole rainbow tattoos stating I am a flaming lesbian. My girlfriend and I do not flaunt ourselves or our affection for each other in front of my family…even though my brother and his girlfriend do….(although we’ve played footsie alot ).

And about gay marriage: I have no desire to “marry” my girlfriend. I am not against marriage for other people…though I believe the political focus should not be on marriage itself but on legal rights. How many times have heard of stories where a couple has been together for 40+ years and one dies and the family comes to take everything. For me, having a ceremony would mean nothing. Granted, it might mean something emotionally…but I would still not feel married. I have no desire to call my girlfriend “Wife”. All this being said, I do not believe marriage should even be talked about in a political arena. It should not even be an issue. How many people who have had these ceremonies still walk out on their relationships? Quite a few.

I don’t like the L Word or Rosie. I guess it shouldn’t matter if it is unrealistic…it’s TV for god’s sake, but people take those things to heart. As far as Rosie…I think she is her own downfall and I think she has made it bad for other lesbians in that people could really think we are all like that. I think she’s even lost her funny.

I don’t understand the real butch women who want to be called a boi. I guess it is good to be who you want to be…it’s just not for me. I have been with a couple of butch women and internally, I think it bothered me. I am grateful my girlfriend is kinda in the middle ground, like me. I really do not have many femme qualities but I am not butch all the way.

For me, I am grateful I do not live in the big city. I could not handle it. Maybe I’m not the young crowd. They say the 40s is the new 20s. I wouldn’t want to go back. I don’t like the typical gay techno music that I associate with city gays. I love the 70s and old country. So, I could never fit in.

So here I am ranting…I just am what I am. A regular girl who loves her girlfriend and loves not being a typical lesbian. Ta Da!