I didn’t fall in love with a straight woman

Aug
2007

I didn’t fall in love with a straight woman

I didn’t fall in love with a straight woman. I WAS the straight woman! I was 49, four years after a divorce from a 20 year marriage.

We had been friends for four years when 9/11 and my brother’s death made me lose my footing. She offered me regular massages to help with the grieving process.

Something I didn’t understand was happening in my body during those massages. The only thing I could point to was this amazing feeling that the bottoms of my feet kept opening and opening during the massage. We hugged and said I love you as friends….until……

I couldn’t wait for Christmas Day to pass because she was calling the next day. I hadn’t identified what was bubbling up inside of me, but something was. The call came and as we spoke, she said “There’s something I need to tell you. I have feelings for you.” Did I slam down the phone or run away? No! because I had feelings for her too.

And so we began. Because never in my life had I felt I was gay/lesbian, I told myself and my friends that I “fell in love with my friend who happens to be a woman”. But when we made love, I felt like I fit into my skin for the first time in my life!

Trying to process this shift in my world, I wrote a lot of poetry. After a few months, I accepted and proclaimed, “I am a lesbian!”

Sadly we split up after five delicious years. I am so looking forward to falling in love again — with a woman.

I don’t know why I didn’t know this about myself. I won’t even waste time thinking about it. I’m just enjoying the joy and wonder of my passionate attraction to women!

Jan

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6 Responses to I didn’t fall in love with a straight woman

Being comfortable with who we are today is the most important…you have a great grasp on that.

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by Amy on August 7th, 2007 at 12:57 AM

OMG did u know u had a twin in Australia?
Married for 18 years, 2 wonderful children, divorced and went to work.
Met my partner, mum of 2 small boys, still married and straight as.
Worked together for 2 years, become best mates, fell in love, moved in together and have had the most intimate, close, passionate and respectful relationship.
Who knew how good life could be, who knew after 18 years of OK marriage, who knew after raising children that my perfect soulmate would turn out to be my office manager.

We have both left that employment, both work from home, both love all four of our children and four years into it, I hope like crazy she loves me for another 20 years.

Who knew??????????????

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by Aussie mums on September 3rd, 2007 at 8:35 AM

awww , i am very sorry that yall had spited up , i am a 19 year old bisexual and i know how it is 2 fall 4 one of your close friends , i am in the same page as u , and its like an neverending story i am so in love with one of my close friends as of right now , when i first told her how i felt she told me that she already knew cause everytime i come around her , i start blushing and smileing and she does the same thing , so we are in the process of getting 2gether very soon , good luck hun , Ebony .xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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by Ebony on November 14th, 2008 at 2:47 AM

Younger children may exhibit self-blame that can precipitate feelings of guilt, worry, and anxiety. ,

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by Alex51 on October 23rd, 2009 at 7:16 AM

there are so many dirty, filthy, diseased lesbians in this world now. what was god thinking, when he created filth like them. these women were obviously dropped on their heads at birth. then these so called women wonder why us straight men have a very bad attitude about them, sure we do. look what you women have become, filthy low life pigs. now you can see why us good men have a problem meeting decent straight women now.

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by so very true on October 11th, 2011 at 1:07 PM

TO so very true – boo hoo. HA! You have a “very bad attitude” which is probably why straight women don’t want you and you come here moaning to lesbians who don’t give a dang that you can’t meet “decent straight women”. You are such a good man taking the time to seek out a lesbian forum to say nasty mean hateful things about women who have NO interest in you. Straight women don’t want you so what makes you think that your whining will mean anything to lesbians? I’m so glad I’m a lesbian and don’t have to worry about dating childish males like you.

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by Salty#1 on October 12th, 2011 at 4:54 PM