thelesbianlifestyle.com

The Last Time I Cried

was earlier this year. I was still grieving the end of my first lesbian relationship. Then HER brother-in-law died. He was a gentle soul, interested in everything and everybody.

He would sit by whomever and meet them where they were. He just dipped into our minds and the conversation started.

He was a husband, a father of two beautiful boys, a musician, a friend, a cousin and more. It hurt so much to lose him. The loss felt personal.

Some people shouldn’t be allowed to leave their bodies until those who remain are ready…..which never happens.

I have a lot of experience with families…..there was my family, there was ex #1′s family, there was ex #2′s family. There were my various friends’ families. So when it came to her family, though I am shy and don’t know how to start a conversation, I was happy being part of the gathering. I’d occasionally throw in a comment or help set the table. But it wasn’t really MY family though they seemed very accepting and friendly.

Though it had been six months since I moved out of her home, I still felt connected to her family. But there, at the funeral home, I finally understood they may have liked me but they didn’t feel connected anymore. I was just another family friend.

Sigh…. Time for me to move on.

Jan