thelesbianlifestyle.com

Nov
2007

Top 10 things lesbians need to quit

10. Quit wearing ties. They are over. Avril stopped, now you can too!
(This also goes for popping up your collars, wearing “mom” jeans, and flannel anything!)

9. Stop buying pets. My theory is that after you bring the second pet into your home they are no longer pets and just animals. 2 is the magic number here. If you start bringing home shit like rabbits and hamsters (and you don’t have kids) you have a problem.

8. Communicate in the bedroom. We are both women, talking is what we do. Yes, I too have a lady town, but it doesn’t mean our post office is located on the same street. Give a girl some direction.

7. Limit your Ani Difanco consumption.

6. Quit keeping your sex life a secret. It’s about time the world knows our tricks of the trade. Adopt a straight man and let him know how it’s done. Tis your civic duty.

5. Quit hibernating once in a relationship. It’s good to have friends. Remember, they will be there when she’s gone!

4. Quit smoking. You may think it looks cool at the bars, but all it’s doing is killing you. Leaving you less time to pick out a tie to wear around your popped collar.

3. Stop falling for straight women. I’ll say it again. Stop falling for straight women.

2. Step out of your circle. There are a lot of people out there. Gay, straight, black, green, and the like. Open up your horizons and meet new people. If you start to miss old friends go to your local lesbian bar, God knows they’ll be there.

1. End the dyke drama. Or at least keep it to your inner circle

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Comments

8 Responses to Top 10 things lesbians need to quit

What’s a butch without a tie?

by Jero on November 28th, 2007 at 7:57 pm

11. Not all shoes have to be sensible.

MLC, http://www.mid-lifeclarity.blogspot.com

by MLC on November 29th, 2007 at 2:29 am

You forgot a few…

•Respect other generations!! Just because you were at Stonewall doesn’t mean the 21-25 year olds of today are not worthy enough to be a lesbian. I am sick of going to lesbian bars with women my mothers age treating my generation like a) pieces of meat or b) under legal drinking age when we are actually 25.

Disclaimer: For those lesbian small buisnesses out there that can treat ALL the customers equally props to you and your progressive sense of thinking.

by Sprout on November 29th, 2007 at 11:34 pm

Loved your list…can’t agree with you more. I am thinking you could also add mass alcohol consumption and co-dependency to your list, but that may be asking too much from some women, but worth a try.

Erica
http://lesbiansanddating.blogspot.com

by girl2grl on December 1st, 2007 at 3:48 am

Love the list! I can let go of the ties and smokes, but no more straight women? Is there a patch… or gum? Gum is good!

by Coffee Counter on December 1st, 2007 at 4:50 pm

Hmm..not sure if this went through so I’ll try again:)

I dunno - the right woman in the right tie? works for me.

Also - have loved Ani since way back when I thought I was straight:)

Would like to add - try dating outside your immediate social circle - I cannot believe the overlap I see. Makes Alice’s chart on the L-word look simple by comparison:)

I’m so newly out that I’ll have to wait and see about the rest, but having already experienced a bit of the drama, I’m not a fan!

by j on December 3rd, 2007 at 4:00 am

I LOVE #6 the best. It made me laugh out loud. I’m with Coffee Counter, though, on the straight women.

by Blue on December 5th, 2007 at 1:26 am

With coffice counter too, can’t help falling for straight women.. it’s one of those things.. bad habit. Won’t be fixed….

an upturned collar is gay? are you serious? and wtf is mom jeans? Never been to a bar, yet. I don’t plan on it anytime soon.. I’m not a piece of meat..though sometimes I want to be. I agree with “j” about the tie.. the right woman… pure sexy.