thelesbianlifestyle.com

I’d like to revisit an earlier topic that I briefly mentioned in a previous post. I’ll start it out with the Popped Collar. If you are a well versed lezzy as I am, you will know exactly the type of person I’m referring to. The “I’m a bit too old to wear an Abercrombie mini-skirt, and my flabby arms aren’t quite what they used to be so a “wife beater” is out of the question, so I’ll pop my collar in an effort to look younger (sort of like a greaser)” type.

Here in the Detroit area there is a group of lesbians (about 15 of them) who are a smidge older than I (30ish) and have been around the lesbian scene for YEARS prior to my arrival. They tend to call themselves… wait for it… wait for it…. “The Wolf Pack!” GRRRRRRR BABY YEAH! (please read that as if you were Austin Powers it has more of an effect)

This group is full of gals who are living their lives the exact way that they were living them 10+ years ago. I don’t want to sound as if I’m trying to be judgmental, I’m simply stating the obvious. There comes a point in your life when you have to do something with yourself. The whole purpose I believe is to grow, change, procreate, love and live. These girls (or should I call them middle aged ladies) hop from bar to bar with their collars popped, their baseball caps on sideways with their fresh from the Abercrombie table, pressed jeans and Doc Martins treating others outside of their “Wolf Pack” like shit.

Literally, if you are not a friend in their group the WILL NOT speak to you. I’m just wondering if I’m the only one that points and laughs. On their myspace pages they have pictures of themselves doing keg stands, (riiiiiight) sitting in bath tubs fully clothed. Yes it all sounds like good fun but nothing that they ever say ever gives me the slightest feeling that they are a caring group of people.

Years ago I sort of infiltrated their group….. via a friend of theirs. They were a joke to me even then. However, I thought perhaps I’m getting them all wrong, I’m going to try to meet them. See if their actually intelligent, warm, caring people who simply put on an “act”.

NOPE! They really are exactly as they appear to be… So while it seems I’ve spun off the topic, I actually haven’t. My point is simply this. First, the look is absurd and the bigger the collar, the more you look like Count Chocula. Second you are giving the rest of the lesbian population a horrible name. I’d hate to have someone meet them and then base their perceptions of lesbians on THEM! Please be a good representative of our culture. Third, and lastly keg stands and group bathing are all good fun but your group is a pathetic sight. I’d rather see you in a fuzzy kitty printed sweater than to watch your juvenile antics every time my wife and I need to get out of the house on a very sporadic weekend I have off, than see you walk in the door at 12:45am, loud obnoxious, making a scene and sporting a popped collar.

Thank you.

GOD I HOPE THEY READ THIS!