thelesbianlifestyle.com

This should be a private issue. But please read it and don’t take it as a crazy girl’s random shouting.

Well, I am a tomboy, my appearance and my characteristics. I did not find it anything wrong when I was a child. I often teased other girls and was happy to make them cry. I don’t decide to list all my evil doing here. But the fact is nobody took me as a girl, including my parents. I never felt ashamed though no girls would like to approach to me. And I could ignore it when being laughed at in lady’s toilet!

In my middle school, other girls grew up (Me, too). They looked so pretty in those nice dresses. I, of course, had no interests at all. One day, several girls were talking about something and I had to fetch my textbook from where they were whispering. “Go away, you lousy guy!” One of the girls cried out. The rest of them laughed aloud. That was the first time I felt that I was different. Lousy GUY?

However, that didn’t mean that I began to hate girls. On the contrary, I began to notice every girl around me. Their long hair, their thin waist, their makeup. And then God played a joke on me at my 14. I thought I fell in love with a girl. I don’t want to describe how pretty she is but you can imagine. You see, I was always a brave “guy” though lousy and I never thought about what would happen to a “teen lesbian”! I expressed my love to that girl. That was the moment I came out, I guessed. She was scared, of course. And the next day, all my classmates knew that a “lousy guy” fell in love with a pretty girl. And I was labeled lesbian from then on. Young students also knew it. Yes, lesbian.

The second girl appeared at my 19. I saw her in a bookstore. I bought a book in order to know her. She handed the book to me, saying “Sir, your book” I said nothing. Then, she was really taken aback when she found me in the lady’s toilet. “You look cool” She said to me. She was not scared, anyway. I felt that my life was turning bright. From then on, I often went to her bookstore and helped her with everything. (The store owner was her granduncle) Rumors, naturally, rumors among other employees and even clients spread everywhere. “Keep a distance with her” Her granduncle threatened me, “You know her family background?” I was always a brave “guy”, you see, and I asked her how she thought about it. “I feel proud of having such a cool friend like you” She said with the sweeties smile. I was defeated.

The third girl even called the police when I told her I needed her so much. That was the biggest awkwardness which was also extremely ridiculous! Then, I attempted to join some gay club which I believe were my own community. Girls seemed to like me and exclaimed that I was so cool. But what I experienced was not what I expected. I didn’t find the one who was really serious about long-term relationship.

Then, I joined an online dating community. I was not disappointed with myself but I still described me as a “lousy butch” with all my embarrassing dating experiences in my profile at Lesmingle.com. Well, it’s a lesbian dating site. I think it’s OK to mention the site name coz I am anonymous there. It gave me new hope coz I found a lot of lesbians and bisexual girls in my country and even near my area (USA). You see, I boggled to throw myself to Internet to meet anyone. And that’s why I am here to tell this stupid story about myself. I need some helpful advice to end my embarrassing dating, not only online dating, but also future dating in real life. Thanks! (Don’t tell me I come to the wrong place, please!)

PS: I have to say some words about myself. Yes, I look like a man and have a quick temper. But I am considered as a smart and talented person, believe me.