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What looks, sounds & feels sexy to me has changed since I was a budding young woman many moons ago. Some mannerisms, looks & sounds that I felt attracted to have decraesed while others have increased.

When I was a mere 14 years old a person’s eyes really drew me to them. This is still the case these days and has only grown stronger. I think it’s because in part, I have what some say is a good bullshit detector and can tell from how on expresses themselves with their eyes what they may be about. As a young dyke on the scene in my 20’s a great pair of eyes alone would make my panties moist. Now those eyes need something sincere behind them as well or I just don’t feel any chemistry. My favorite eye colors to look into is brown with hints of green or gold or very dark brown.

Attitude used to attract me to someone, but what attracts me in the expression of attitude has changed. Again back in the day a butch swagger that showed me she was sure of herself got me swooning many-a-time. I liked a woman who appeared comfortable with her masculine sexuality and seemed to know what a woman like me might like in or out of bed. Time has taught me a few lessons about some of these women though. The self assued butch is not always so sure. They can quake inside like any other shy person. They just know how to not look like it. And anything that seems insincere leaves me feeling cold. I like the butch or strong femme or any other lesbian for that matter, who believes in themselves, but does not boast or brag. She feels comfortable in her own skin and can admit with humor & humility when she doesn’t. That kind of honesty and self respect is an attitude that gets me very interested in someone.

Other things I fend sexy about a woman’s physical body (and sometimes dudes) include the sound of one’s voice (deep and smokey), scent (not too much), hair style (no mullets!), height, teeth, lips, and smile.

Personality wise I find optimism a real turn on. Humor gets me very wet and so does someone who is intelligent without pretension. Also the love of animals, nature, travel, the arts and an ability to be in the moment no matter how weird it may be is really great!

What I forget to think about sometimes regarding the question of what I find sexy or define as sexy is that which turns me on about myself. Not in any egotistical way but what traits do I find to be sexy about myself. Again this has changed over the years. Back in the day I would have said my legs and my smile. Now that I’m older & a wee bit of cellulite has set in (it’s my genes I swear!) I can’t say my legs but my smile still feels good to me. Because when I do I know happiness is radiating out of me and I’m enjoying myself. Being a sober woman, knowing that I’m having fun and truly enjoying life without drugs or alcohol makes me smile & in turn makes me feel sexy & free. And that sincerity I’m so attracted to in other women’s eyes, I now have too after years of trying to become my true self. And now more than ever I know I’m sexy & don’t need anyone else to tell me because I feel it from my heart and within my soul.
~F