thelesbianlifestyle.com

There’s an urban legend that says that men think about sex every seven
seconds. Women a lot less, I am told.
Who knows? Who cares?

When you’re in a long-term relationship, however, this mere fact can tip the
balance severely.

The impact of parenthood on any (lesbian) relationship cannot be
underestimated as my SO and I have witnessed first-hand in our own
relationship and the relationships around us.

To this date, we have knowledge of 5 lesbian couples breaking up, one being
on the verge of breaking up and one couple that was on the verge. I won’t
even discuss the straight couples here.
What is it precisely that rocks the cradle?

I can only give my own take, as ours was the ‘on the verge’ relationship.

Three years ago we welcomed our munchkin into our lives. It was an event
that had been discussed at length, planned at length and at the end of the
day took much less time than we ever expected.
Cue, one year and two extremely tired mothers later. While trying to juggle
the obligations of parenthood and work, we simply lost sight of the one
aspect that had brought us this far in the first place: ourselves.
We drifted, on very different seas.

One morning, I looked at my SO and was forced to admit that when she said
the sun is shining, and it was actually raining, I no longer believed her.
I took a long hard look in the mirror and realized that the same probably
applied to myself. Where had those girls of the summer of 1997 gone? It was
a tough discussion, one that occasionally still gives rise to some extremely
poisonous barbs from my loved one.

As time passed, the subject lay dormant between us, and we circled it with
some apprehension. Little did we know the answer would come from an
unexpected angle.

Recently, my SO underwent some rather invasive surgery. The operation led to
some minute changes in her appearance - a change of haircut, pregnancy
clothes to alleviate the pressure on her scar - and an extended leave at
home.
Gone were the circles under the eyes, the severe hairstyle, with hair drawn
back, the uniform for work.
Eyes that had always been light sparkled once again in a rested face, framed
by hair, that was, well, hair again. I rediscovered curves on her body that
I had forgotten existed. I found myself wanting to be near her again, feel
her skin touching mine at night, nuzzling up to her by day.
In short, I found her sexy again. Her external appearance enhanced all of
those aspects of her personality that attracted me to her in the first
place.

So a word of advice to impending mothers: while the care of your child takes
a lot out of you, you should never lose sight of that other priority.
Yourselves.

Lula Bites