thelesbianlifestyle.com

Apr
2008

Completely Hypothetical

So here’s the issue. I have never questioned my sexuality. I have been aware of my attraction and love for women for as long as I can remember, which so happens to be age 5. So what happens when after 30 years you find yourself attracted to a man.

I realize the above paragraph is a lot to swallow. I don’t feel that I have to defend myself, but I can’t help but find the entire situation rather interesting. I AM a lesbian. Like I mentioned above, there have never been any doubts, blurps on a radar, or a penchant to sway to the straight side of the world. I am comfortablewith my sexuality, but have always said that I would never let someone’s private parts get in the way of love. And at this point I use the term love super loosely.

I’ve known straight women who have a one night stand with another woman and it’s no big deal. I’ve known woman who identified as straight for years and then ended up coming to terms with their homosexuality in their 40’s. This seems to be the norm, or at least more common than the route I am taking.

Honestly I think it’s just a weird sort of attraction and nothing more. I could elaborate more, but there honestly isn’t much more than this odd feeling I have. I would call them butterflies, but that is just SO odd to me. I have to admit this is one of the oddest feelings I’ve ever felt in my life.

I finally understand a bit better those that questioned their sexuality in their youth or during adulthood. I had a hard time understanding those feelings until now. Although I’m not ready to put on a white dress and fly to Vegas to get legally straight married I have learned a bit about myself and the human condition through this revelation. Things in life, and especially in love, are far from black and white. It’s sad that I was a little bit afraid to post this because of the fear of how other lesbians would take it. In truth it’s really about self discovery. All the while I still hold true to the belief that if I fall in love with a man I won’t run from it just because I have always called myself a lesbian.

This is one of my stories. I can’t help but wonder if anyone else has experienced this. I would love to hear your story.

Still a Gold Star Dyke!

Post Information

Author: goldstardyke
Contact the Author
Posted in GLBT, Life, Living, Love, Our Stories, Relationships, Sexuality

Comments

6 Responses to Completely Hypothetical

Lesbian,straight,bi,etc - well the labels don’t matter when it comes to love. I thought I was straigt till late twenties, identify as lesbian but still am attracted to the odd man. Go figure! Love is a connection of kindred spirits - genitalia don’t matter. Being a decent, happy human counts for much more.

by Minnie Lobo on April 10th, 2008 at 4:49 pm

I have identified as lesbian since I was about 17. I am still attracted to the “odd” man. No biggie, I just appreciate and keep on moving. Love is love.

-S

by Sandra on April 10th, 2008 at 6:46 pm

I come from the opposite corner…. I never knew I was lesbian until I fell in love at 49 (six years ago). I was married twice — the second one lasted twenty years.

From my twenty-years married experience, I could NOT imagine being with a man again.

It’s a wonderful theory — to love the person, not the gender, but gender matters if you are in an intimate relationship.

by Jan on April 10th, 2008 at 11:28 pm

Sorry! I hope my comment about gender mattering in an intimate relationship did not frighten anyone away from expressing their opinion. I was merely stating mine.

by Jan on April 16th, 2008 at 8:11 pm

Now, my best advice is this; do not label yourself. I am always so saddened by those who continually try to define themselves. Life is so complex and we are so diverse, why limit and label? Your sexuality is not who you are. You are you and thats the greatest thing to be. I am nearly 32 years old and I spent over 20 years trying to define myself as straight. Not because it’s what I wanted, but because I thought it was what everyone ELSE wanted. I dated boys in high school, I have been in at least four serious relationships with men, including a nine year marriage to one. I never felt like I should be with a man. I found men attractive… and was able and still am able to admire their beauty. But I have never been attracted to them sexually. I guess if people were to label me now I’d be labeled as a lesbian. If they feel the need to catergorize me then I say go for it. It doesn’t change who I am now or have ever been. I was the same woman eleven years ago when I walked down the isle with a man as I am right now loving a woman every day. Same heart, same soul… same morals and values. Follow your heart and don’t let life OR love pass you by.

by Bonheur5 on April 17th, 2008 at 2:35 pm

Thank you for your response Bonheur5. I’ve never been fond of labels myself. However it is a bit awkward to think of yourself one way your entire life and then poof, one day it’s something different. Love IS about the heart, nothing more nothing less. I promise I won’t let this pass me by.

by goldstardyke on April 18th, 2008 at 5:42 pm