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I’ve been pondering the “What would you tell yourself in the past” topic for a bit, but wasn’t sure what age I would want to talk to myself. After reading Tina’s letter, and then visiting The Wishful Writer’s I think 13 is as good an age as any. So here we go…

Dear Kelly,

This year you will meet your first girlfriend. You will fall head over heels and assume that there will never be another person out there for you. Your girlfriend will tell you that she fell for you partly because she found you to be a “bad ass.” I can tell you now that the only reason you are a bad ass is so you don’t get labeled the lonley fat girl. You are funny, you get the jokes out before anyone else can, but if you keep it up you’ll be in therapy about it when you’re an adult.

I want you to love your girlfriend, but I need you to recognize when it’s time to let go. Don’t pay for the hotel room for her and her “boyfriend” during senior prom. You’ll never get your deposit back because they will rent pornos all night. Most importantly don’t blame yourself for the woman your girlfriend turns out to be. Yes, you fell in love with a quiet, smart, sweet girl, but she will leave you bitter, heartless, and a hater of the world.

While the break up is happening you will turn into a hopeless broken hearted romantic. I’m going to need for you to NOT do that. ATTENTION KELLY: You need to remain a bad ass. Keep your heart open, but don’t lose all of your self confidence and wallow in self pity for 3 years. You will love again I promise. Realize now that people will think of you what they will and there isn’t anything you can do to change it. Your biggest challenge will be figuring out who you are all by yourself.

Now on to the larger issues. Start conquering your fears now. If you don’t they will conquer you and you won’t end up living the life you hope to live now. There is nothing you can’t do, no where you can’t go, and death is going to happen whether you like it or not. Start taking care of yourself now. Don’t stop playing sports, continue so you aren’t still the fat girl making jokes about yourself when your 30. And for fucks sake figure out what your passion is and turn it into a career. If you don’t there will be a blue carpeted cubicle waiting for you until your job gets outsourced to India. Then your fucked, just like the economy will be by then.

You won’t go to your first funeral until your 19. But ten years later you will attend 7 within a year. Cherish every moment you have with those close to you. You will have regrets if you don’t. And if you only do one thing from this letter please remember that we only get one chance at this. Adults will tell you that time flies and you won’t believe them because a school day feels like five years. Follow your heart above all things. It may get you in trouble, but it’s the right thing to do.