2008
Im a little confused! PLEASE read, mabye you can relate…
Ok well to sum it up quickly… I had always been curious about girls but never acted on it until i was 17 when i dated my first girlfriend for 2 years. Before her i had plenty of boyfriends.. and clearly found myself attracted to guys. AFTER dating her… i tried a little with guys.. and it felt SO FAKE! Just being with a guy and kissing one just felt awkward and gross to me as if i almost had to force it. And it wasn’t the guys i dated because they were very nice and handsome of course.. but it just seemed so awkward to me. I cannot get emotional attachments with guys WHATSOEVER… and when i look at girls that are in love with their boyfriends and have this strong emotional bond… i just dont see it possible… it confuses me to be honest how ANY girl can have an attraction to a guy mentally.. let alone physically but at least that’s a bit more understanding. I think some girls only date guys because theyre sexually attracted to them and thats about it. Ive met slim to NO guys that are respectful towards females and genuine. It makes me sick!!!! So im guessing my question is… Is it possible to start off liking guys then turn into a complete lesbian? I am without a doubt in my mind COMPLETLY LESBIAN! But very proud at that i must ad!!!!! I am now involved in another relationship with a girl i am head over heels in love with!!! Im just confused whether its normal to at one point LIKE boys… then completely NOT like them. Honestly you could put brad pit in front of me and id hold him hostage and have him lead my way towards Angelina! hahaha I dont get it… i dont see why guys are even here… and im not being some crazy feminist… but seriously women are AMAZING in every way shape and form. They conversate better, kiss better, smell better, BETTER SEX.. i mean everything about them is amazing. I LOVE LOVE LOOOOOOOOOOVE women!!! Im just curious as to who has had this experience as well… and im definitely not confused… just confused as to why i every considered guys to begin with! PEACEANDLOVE!
You’re not crazy. A lot of us have had relationships with guys before coming to the realization that we prefer girls. It’s perfectly normal and more common than most lesbians would like to admit. After all, we live in a heterocentric society.
It takes some of us longer to figure out what we want and how we want to live. I call it the “Fingercuffs Dilemma”, a reference to the main character in Chasing Amy. To quote the movie, “Not all of us are given a f**king road map at birth.”
Don’t get hung up on labels, either. You might experience some attraction to guys, but be much more attracted to gals. If that’s the case, don’t stress out about whether you are bi or gay. Identify yourself however you like.
Learn to love and accept yourself for who you are. From there, simply be open to healthy, respectful and loving relationships as the opportunities present themselves.
Peace out,
Dharma Kelleher
http://www.dharmashanti.com