thelesbianlifestyle.com

You’ve been through a lot for a twelve year old and while I?m not going to tell you the future, there are some things that might help guide the way a bit. I can’t make the bad things suck any less but I can tell you that you are going to make it through and probably not remember the bulk of them.

Keep reading as much as you can. It makes you smarter, more imaginative, more interesting as a human being, and gives you a bigger vocabulary. Try to keep a journal. Don’t worry about writing every day. Also, you have more to say than you think. Even the boring details of your life will provide some insight later on and will be important to help you figure out what actually happened.

Remember that every family has secrets. No family is that picture perfect facade that they show to everyone else in church. And our family has plenty of secrets. Keep them. One day you will have the resources to deal with it. I promise.

You have something called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. The doctor’s won’t know what it is and won’t categorize and diagnose you until it’s well on it’s way to disrupting your life. You will have to take charge of your health care and be very clear and adamant about how they treat you. You might not really learn how to do this until later. Don’t worry too much about it. Get something called a super-cervical hysterectomy as soon as you can track down a doctor who will do the procedure. This might not be possible to do because doctor’s are pricks and don’t realize that you can make the right choices for yourself even when you are young. But it will save you money and grief later on in life. Oh, and that thing in 1998. It’s your gall bladder. The doctor’s misdiagnose that too. Have them do an ultrasound.

School. Junior high is going to be hell. Don’t be afraid to tell your parents what is going on. You are going to be okay, though. You will. Start taking art classes as soon as you can. Don’t be afraid to opt for shop class instead of home ec. Don’t label yourself. Don’t let others label you. It serves nothing. Calm down with the religious rhetoric. You will find one day that it doesn’t serve a purpose in your life either and will just make you feel embarrassed. Because really, it’s nowhere close to the whole picture even though they try to make you believe it is.

The last thing I will tell you is the most important. You are an amazingly gifted person. Those things that you wish you were YOU ARE! You have pushed some things away because in doing so, you protect yourself. And so it should be. But one day you will be impatient and demand of the Universe (of God) that those gifts and talents come back. And they will. Don’t worry. You will see the beauty of the world in a way few others can or ever will. Trust your instincts and intuition over everything and everyone.

Love,
Shannon @ 32

P.S. And when you have that dream about the lottery numbers. Play them every week for at least two months. You won’t be sorry!