2008
Gay Marriage: A Blessing or a Curse?
I am happy that California passed a law to legalize gay marriage. Every human deserves the right to chose. However, I don’t think marriage will ever be something I chose to do myself. My feelings on the institution of marriage have developed amidst a lot of soul searching. Part of me feels like marriage was created in a time when the human lifespan topped at 30. The other part of me respects the commitment, but still feels like part of being a human means changing.
I am a romantic. You would think that a romantic would want with all of her heart to believe in forever and happily ever after. The rub is that I’m also a realist, and can’t blame one half of the relationship if they change and the other half doesn’t. Many will say that marriage is work and that the couple should work to do the best they can to change together. If I am with a woman who falls out of love with me after 15 years why would I want to stay? Why would I want her to feel like she has to stay because of a piece of paper?
I will fight for the rights of all people to be able to get married. I believe that GLBT individuals have just as much right to marriage as our straight counterparts. I don’t believe that it’s ever something I’ll take part in though. Once again, this is only my personal opinion and I would enjoy hearing the arguments of others.
For me the bottom line is this. Love is an amazing, albeit, fickle emotion. It can magically appear in our hearts just as quickly as it can magically disappear. I’ve never looked down on people who have divorced. I don’t look down on people who remarry. What I will never understand is why when love is taken out of the equation people still attempt to make it work.
Your thoughts on the matter are welcome.
I can appreciate your perspective on this. Most of my serious relationships lasted about 3 years. However, I have been “married” to my current partner for 10 years. I honestly see us together until death do us part. And here’s why.
We have in our relationship a dynamic/attitude/drive that naturally fuels our commitment to each other. Both of us are constantly reaching out to the other, doing little things for each other to remind the other what a wonderful person she is and how much she is appreciated. It’s not work really. It’s just who we are and what we do.
I don’t know why I didn’t have this in my previous relationships except to say that I had a lot of growing up to do before I met my wife. I had to give up a lot of my ego-based thinking. But when I did, the most wonderful relationship fell into my lap.
If marriage doesn’t feel right to you, that’s okay. It doesn’t make you bad or broken. Motherhood doesn’t feel right to me, but I’m glad that there are people who are naturally drawn to be mothers.
Diversity is a good thing.