thelesbianlifestyle.com

My heart was beating so high up in my throat, and it burned like I had a bad case of acid reflux. Tremors ran through me from my toes up through my spine and back through my hands. The betrayal was so great in light of the sacrifices I had made that I had half a mind to call homicide before I even got home, just so they could stop me. How could you do this to me?

I wasn’t sure if I wanted you to be home or not. Part of me was praying that you were at the funeral, or at your mothers house, or anywhere that wasn’t home. I wasn’t sure that I could face you. Walking down those steps to the apartment I was sure that my legs were made of jello, and that I was bound to wake up from this dream I was floating in.

Even if the girl was only telling half the truth it would be too much. It wasn’t like she was expecting my call so she really didn’t have time to prepare a story of what she could say to turn me against you. She seemed just as surprised to talk to me as I was that I was actually dialing the number. Throughout the conversation I discovered that this woman both knew too much about me, and also not enough.

So tell the world, please. That those pets are ours, that the computer you’ve betrayed me on belongs to me, that we sleep in the same bed together every night, that you happily took that ring, that you made love to me last night, that you swore I loved you best, that you could NEVER think about someone else while you were with me, that we were going to have a family, that I was willing to crawl through hell for you, but most importantly, that you promised, promised, promised…