2008
Dear Mom,
In the early morning of June 7th I was woken up by the doorbell ringing over and over again. It was my cousin, and before I opened the door I knew something was wrong. You had a full hysterectomy the morning of the 6th.
I will never forget his words, “Your Mom’s not doing well, they had to take her back into surgery.”
It took all I had to stop my legs from shaking to run up the stairs, get dressed, and find the keys to my car. For the first time in my life I was close to losing you. After all our family has lost the past year and a half I couldn’t even wrap my brain around the thought of not having you around.
It was in the seven mile drive to the hospital that millions of thoughts started to fill my brain. The minutes it took to get there felt like hours and within those hours I realized what an amazing woman you are. It was you who taught me what unconditional love is, you showed me how to give people the benefit of the doubt even when my nature advised me to trust no one, and you who provided me with just enough of a soft side to curve my rough edges. Your love for me, no matter who I am or who I love, is the most honest and pure love around.
I broke down when I got to the hospital that night. My cousins would later comment on never before seeing me cry. Had you been by my side you would have told me to cry. You would tell me not to hold it in and to feel what needed to be felt. You would have held my hand and told me everything will be okay even if you knew it wasn’t. And coming from you I would have believed you even if I knew it wasn’t either.
You don’t remember much from those next few days and I’m glad. You had internal bleeding and ended up losing a liter and a half of blood before it was all said and done. For the first time in my thirty years of life I got to take care of you once you came home and I didn’t mind it a bit. Sometimes you drive me crazy, but I’m glad I have a part of you in me. Everyone always used to say that I was my Father’s daughter. What they didn’t know is that underneath it all I’m a lot more like you.
You are an irreplaceable Mother, a great friend, and one of the kindest people I know. Thank you for putting up with my shit and being one of the few that knows the real me.
Your (insane) daughter,
K
This really put tears in my eyes. My mother and I have never had a great relationship but deep down inside I know she is a Queen! Single mother 3 kids growing up in the ghettos of Los Angeles. I thought that me being gay would cause her to reject me but she didnt =) and I love her for that I love my mother as the trees love water and sunshine she has helped me grow and prosper and thanks to her I will reach great heights! Thank You for this post!