thelesbianlifestyle.com

There are countless blogs that serve as a creative outlet for people to vent their frustrations. Attic Tales, www.attictales.com, has certainly given me the means to complain about lesbians and our frequent unhealthy actions. Nevertheless, it would be far too easy to write a blog proclaiming to every Tom, Dick, and Harriet: “You suck and so do I!” That’s not constructive nor would it have much of an impact…well maybe on my exes and my lawyer…but that’s about it.

Here’s a mostly harmless aspiration for you: My goal has always been to seek out the people who are being dysfunctional and ask them to ask themselves the hard questions as to why they continue behaving badly. Though secretly, my real goal is to show the world that not all bloggers are bad spellers.

While it’s certainly tempting to whine and grumble about the people who’ve done me wrong, I just don’t think that would be productive. After all, thanks to these people, I’m the person I am today…and though I still have a long way to go in regards to being the BEST ME I can be…I can say that most of the time I do genuinely like myself…when I’m not feeling bloated of course.

Most of us spend a lot of time complaining about our past hurts, to the extent where we sometimes forget that it’s those very emotional wounds that have taught us valuable life lessons; lessons that have left us more mature, wiser, and a just a little bit less naïve…unless of course we’ve become completely bitter, cynical, and wanting to throw rocks at our antagonists. In which case, the following exercise is not for you:

List the people you feel have wronged you, or have caused you your greatest hurts, and then write down what it is that you learned from those negative experiences.

Don’t worry…you’re not getting graded on this.

1. My mother: for teaching me that sacrifice should not mean losing one’s sense of self.
2. My father: for teaching me that emotional maturity is the essence of adulthood.
3. R: for teaching me that bullies don’t always grow up regretting their actions.
4. S: for teaching me that loyalty is important.
5. S&S: for teaching me that it was time to stop being a doormat.
6. J&L: for teaching me that sometimes women really don’t know what they want.
7. S: for teaching me that just because it feels like TRUE LOVE doesn’t mean it is.
8. C: for teaching me that communicating my wants and needs doesn’t necessarily mean change will take place.
9. N: for teaching me what I DO NOT WANT in a relationship.
10. T: for teaching me that being passive is not the same thing as being diplomatic.
11. S: for teaching me that I should NEVER sacrifice PASSION for COMFORT.
12. MN: for teaching me that I shouldn’t try to become the person I was before.
13. E: for teaching me that it was time to become more emotionally independent.
14. B: for teaching me once and for all that I cannot make anyone happy but myself.
15. MJ: for teaching me to continue trusting my instincts no matter what the outcome…and for holding my hand.

You can spend a whole lot of your time being angry with the people who hurt you. Or you can forgive them for what they’ve done. After all, look at you. You’re still standing. You’re still here. Be grateful for that. If however you feel you can’t and still want to throw rocks at the people on your list…may I suggest you start a blog instead? And may I also recommend you use your spell check?

Genevieve Grenier, www.attictales.com, Losing lesbian street cred every second of the day