thelesbianlifestyle.com

Don’t worry, no horrible family stories from me this time.  Lately there have been a couple of really good posts about being butch.  Go read them, they’re awesome.   I just thought I’d throw my two cents in on the subject of the butch conundrum.

I’ve been butch since I can remember.  It all started when I begged my mom for a haircut like my brother’s at the age of five.  Next to go was all the girlie clothes in my closet when I started kindergarten.   I swelled with happiness every time my mother was complimented on her handsome twin boys.  Before I knew it I had come out to her when I was 12.  When I turned 13 I shaved my head and that’s how I’ve worn it for the past 10 years.  But even through all of this I never felt that I was wrong in any way.  No desire to become a boy ever overcame me and even when my breasts started to develop there was only a sense of loss over the fact that I would now have to wear shirts in the summer (I played shirtless until I was a little older than 11, my brother was horrified.)

Now I’m a college student attending a tech school to become a auto/diesel mechanic.  Every part of me that I choose to present to the outside world is butch, hell, even I’ll admit I fit the stereotypes too well.  Steel-toed boots, hardhat, flannel, carpenter jeans, short hair, tattoos, pick-up truck, leather wallet, hell you name it I’ve got it or I’ve done it.  My problem is not feeling like I’m trapped in the wrong body, my problem is reconciling the parts of myself that don’t fit the stereotypes.

First up; I like to date other butches.  And not just any butch either, I swoon over those self same women who fit the stereotypes like I do.  There’s just something about a beer belly and short hair on a gal that gets my heart pumping.  I know, I know, I should have been born a bear and I swear to god that the next gay man that says that to me  is gonna be hurting.  Unfortunately it’s damn hard to pick up other butches because of the butch/femme norm.

Second of all; I’m a submissive and I prefer to not to play the dominate role.  I like to be on my back or on my knees or wherever the hell you care to put me.  This is a hard one for me, getting other lesbians to accept that I like to be topped is no easy thing.  A lot of the times me trying to explain the whole deal seems like it’s more trouble than it’s worth so I end up playing the big butch I appear to be and I end up not exactly loving things between the sheets.

Those are probably the two biggest things that affect my life as a butch lesbian.  I know there’s a whole bunch of smaller stuff that doesn’t really jive with how the world perceives who I am, but even I know you all don’t want to hear about my love of stuffed bunnies.