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This is the first part of my three part interview with Cathy DeBuono.  I hope you’ll come by Hahn at Home to read the rest!

You’ve seen her – she’s hot, she’s talented, she’s extremely bright and focused, and she’s everywhere in the lesbian entertainment community these days – and now she’s here, with me, if only for a moment.

Many of you members of the “family” know Cathy DeBuono as one of the stars of the award winning film, Out at the Wedding and as Becca in episodes of Logo’s Exes and Ohs. Recently, Cathy turned in an extremely funny performance as a dysfunctional therapist on the Internet comedy series, 3Way.

Right now, she’s wrapping up of her second film of the summer and just last month, her popular Internet vlog, What’s Your Problem? moved from After Ellen to Smoking Cocktail.

Since the mid-90s, she’s appeared in episodes of several popular series, including a run as a paramedic on Chicago Hope and a recurring role as a dabo girl, M’Pella, on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. I probably shouldn’t know that last one so well, huh?

DeBuono was born in Yonkers, NY, but moved with her family to Bronxville, NY, shortly thereafter. DeBuono was a triple sport threat in high school when she was recruited by Division I volleyball powerhouse University of Kentucky. While there, she appeared in a student-directed play by Ashley Judd. That was her first taste of acting. She credits Judd with encouraging her to pursue acting. One wrecked knee and dashed athletic hopes later, Cathy applied for and was accepted at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts where she received an AADA. DeBuono also has a bachelor’s degree in telecommunications and a master’s degree in clinical psychology. That’s what I call covering all of your bases. Oh, and if that’s not enough – she’s also certified in both SCUBA and massage.

That’s all I’m going to rehash of DeBuono’s background. You can read interviews with her at many fine websites, which are mentioned later.

Though I tried, she declined to answer any questions relating to Jill Bennett. You gotta’ respect that. Still and all, what a hot couple, huh?

Cathy, many of my fellow bloggers and readers have been absolutely ga-ga over you. I even made a special birthday present for one of your most ardent admirers a few months ago which I think might need to go on your credits.  Don’t worry, I don’t think she’s an actual stalker or anything.

Hm, I clicked on the “birthday present” link but I don’t get to it?  Now I’m really curious!

(ed note: Jib Jab had, of course, taken their site down for overhaul at this same time. You can see the card on my Stuff I Like page)

You’ve had a lot of on-screen roles all the way back to Chicago Hope days.  And, uh hum, Star Trek:  Deep Space 9 (DS9).  And, by the way, it’s Trekker, not Trekkie—just in case that comes up later. I haven’t actually dressed up as any of the characters.  Crazy, those conventions, huh?

I’ve been to a couple of conventions. People who love Star Trek sure do love Star Trek.  And thank you for the proper terminology. I have been saying “Trekkies” for years.

And, I think many of your fans would agree that you are, shall we say, hot.  Do you mind a certain amount of objectification, by the way?

Who would?

You were raised by a cop. I was raised by a cop. That can give you a unique perspective growing up.  Like if they wanted to make a point about not using drugs, they could bring home crime scene photos of dead bodies from drug related deaths and say, “Here is why you don’t do drugs!”  Did your dad do things like that?

No, my Dad didn’t do that.  In fact he never talked about the details of the things he saw or what his job was like.  But he did instil a healthy level of paranoia about strangers and their possible ulterior motives. I’m sure it was my Dad’s influence that has kept me out of trouble more than once throughout the course of my life, he taught me to ask myself the right questions when dealing strangers.

(ed note: Cathy was approached by Victor Paleologus at a Century City mall to do a photo shoot for a film poster. Cathy wasn’t buying his line and did not go. Paleologus was later convicted of the murder of actress Kristi Johnson. Cathy and others who were approached testified at his trial.)

Do you have sibs?  What’s your birth position?  And, how did that work out for you?  What do you think the family would say your funniest story was growing up?  And, would you agree?

I have two siblings.  An older sister and a younger sister.  How did that work out?  Well, I was close enough in age to have your basic sibling fights with both of them while they were far apart enough in age to have more of an aunt/niece kind of dynamic growing up.  I felt like the joke was on me a lot of the time.  But I also feel very close to my sisters.  Funniest story about me? Good question. I think depending on who you asked you’d probably get a different story each time. I was sort of the family clown.

You fell for a girl in college and had your first same-sex relationship.  What happened to that girl?  Do you keep in touch?  Or was it just understood you’d keep in touch in case either of you needed help moving in the future?

I fell in love for the first time at age 21.  She was 19 and we were together for 3 years.  Which isn’t a bad run considering we were so young and closeted and had absolutely no support in our worlds.  We are still in touch; she lives in LA now too, and we still love each other to the core - always will.

Did you leap out of the closet and find it immediately comfortable, or did you have some difficulty adjusting to the attitudes of others?  What thoughts or feelings do you remember most vividly from that period of time?

I came out to my family when I fell in love for the first time.  My sisters were not fazed by it really, but my mom took it hard - which surprised me because my mom had always been the “cool mom” growing up.  The mom my friends and I could always tell the truth to and not have to lie.  So, when she took this really hard, I was shocked and didn’t know how to deal with it.  I tried for a few months to wait for her to overcome it, but I couldn’t tolerate not being in her good graces and seeing her miserable so I went back into the closet and told her it was just a phase.  For three more years it went on that way until she saw a photo of me kissing my girlfriend and the cat was out of the bag for good.  I regret going back in the closet. It was absolutely the wrong thing to do. It only prolonged the inevitable learning curve my mother had to face in terms of accepting it and I felt awful not being true to myself.  I would absolutely advise against doing that.  When you come out, stick to it and be clear.  Don’t claim to be bisexual because you think it’ll soften the blow, this only keeps others waiting for you to choose “straightness.” It prolongs everything.  If you are gay, and you know it, stick to the truth from the start. Trust me, half-hearted coming out doesn’t make it any easier for you or anyone around you, it only clouds the issue and prolongs the inevitable.

How was your family when you came out?  Do you hang with any of your family these days?

These days, it’s a non-issue. It was always a non-issue for my sisters.  My Dad passed away seven years ago, but he was supportive of my being true to myself.  It was my mom who had a terrible long haul with accepting it. But, she has now, completely.  She had a learning curve to experience and went through a period of feeling ashamed for how she initially reacted.  I finally had to tell her to stop apologizing, that everyone stumbles on things and this one was hers.  She is absolutely accepting now and I’m proud of her willingness to face something that initially scared the crap out of her.  Last summer she came to visit me in LA for OUTFEST and she not only came to see my film, she came with me and my friends to the after party, at a gay bar. I never thought I’d see that day and we had a good laugh about it.  Then she took all my friends’ money at poker.

(Part Two Tomorrow at Hahn at Home)