2008
Gender Trouble at the Pool Table - or how to be a woman part 2
The other night my partner and I stuck it out for two whole games while being heckled by a couple of men at the pool table. They were agressive and full of sexist and homophobic insults. I won’t bore you with the all too familiar details. The barwoman has promised to throw them out next time. This is Norway and things work on a different time scale (but that’s a whole other rant).
My partner and I are very good pool players. Wait, that’s not the point. Shouldn’t women be allowed to play pool whether they are good or not? Men are. (Even the felt-rippers.)
My partner and I largely pass as boys in mainstream society. Hang on, that’s not really the point either. Should women have to look like men in order to have the same rights? Should only masculine women be taken seriously? Why is masculinity serious and femininity silly? Aren’t these values just learned anyway? It’s much easier for me in mainstream society when I pass as a man. I’m respected and taken seriously. I’ve been fairly gender ambiguous all my life and it would probably be a lot easier for me if I just transitioned. However, I’m historically a woman. I’ve come to respect this body and claim it’s space as mine. I’m not about to change just because it would make my life easier. If you can’t beat them, join them is just too defeatist. Besides, I’m not about to start heckling women just because I’m hairier.
Simone de Beauvoir didn’t think that the biological differences between men and women explained the superior position of men in society. She thought that men had used theology, philosophy, biology and psychology to serve their own best interests and marginalise women. Women have thereby been relegated to an inferior position in society and then men have pointed to this as proof of women being inferior by nature.
So why play right into their hands, if you’ll excuse the expression?
wow…this just sucks. I give it to you, though…hanging in for two games. Although I don’t know why the Bartender said they would throw them out “next time.” What good is that?
I might write a letter to the owner of the establishment, talk about your experiences there, and express your concerns…it might make it a safer environment for others in the future.
On another note…awesome for you and your girl just being “who you are,” and not feeling the pressure to be anything that doesn’t feel right to you.