Sep
2008
12

Why I Don’t Want To Be Your First Girlfriend

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I have officially decided that being the first girlfriend sucks. Actually, I knew this long ago. I even told my last girlfriend that I refused to date women that was just coming into the life. So do you know what she did? She lied and told me about all of these relationships she’d had with women that didn’t even exist. It was over a year and much frustration and hurt later that she finally admitted that I was her first girlfriend and she’d lied because I wouldn’t have dated if I knew otherwise. My feelings do not come from anger but from truth and vulnerability. When you are the first girlfriend, more times than not, that’s all you’re going to be with her. Just her first girlfriend.

Other reasons why I do not want to be your first girlfriend:

1. You come out to your parents/family for the first time with me. Well for some reason they think it’s all my fault and I must be the devils seed sent to come and ruin their beloved child. But it gets better. After dealing with all of the BS from your family about this, when we break up, your new girlfriend gets to come in & likely by then they have warmed up to the idea that you’re gay and she doesn’t have to deal with any of this.

2. If you haven’t tasted all the other fish in the sea then how can you tell me you want to eat mine forever. Lol. I don’t want to hear about forever or marriage. If I am your first girlfriend then you can not attempt to tell me that you’re sure you want to be with me forever. You haven’t even started dated yet.

3. All of the little freaky things we do in the bed room will get balled up into that “it was only good because it was your first” category. No, I’m good because I’m good. Not because you’re in a euphoric state since you’re with a girl for the first time.

4. Dealing with friends, coworkers, family that still think you’re straight. Or even the ex boyfriend that still calls and don’t understand why you won’t have those midnight rumps with him anymore. Um, no thank you.

5. I don’t have time to teach you the lesbian rules of engagement (I’ll post those later).

6. I don’t want to end up being that summer girl fling you had over the summer.

There are many other reasons but most of them fall within those sections so I’ll stop here.


related post

PHUCK YEAH!!! LOLOL

Amen sista. :)

Tina-cious.coms last blog post..Clumsy ’cause I’m fallin’ in love.

by Tina-cious.com on September 12th, 2008 at 2:21 PM

This is oh-so-true. No one wants to be a “first.” I mean, if you don’t really want a relationship, I suppose you get what you get, but I agree with the author and don’t want to be that girl either.

One thing that is quite cool though is being a total superstar sexually…I’d like to think that I am a superstar all the time, but at some point, every girl has to be honest with herself.

by Jul on September 12th, 2008 at 4:59 PM

Oh, if it were only that simple.

by Italiana on September 13th, 2008 at 8:00 PM

Reading thsi makes me happy that I got my first relationship out of the way when I was 14 so we could both be the others firsts.

by goldstardyke on September 14th, 2008 at 11:38 AM

I don’t agree I haven’t had a girlfriend yet, but I am out to my parents. There are always going to be people who think I’m straight, I honestly am not the type of person to share all my personal life with everyone, if it comes up they will know. I have gone out on dates before maybe one or two with each person but still… I have lesbian friends, and work in a queer resource center I don’t think you need to teach me about lesbian rules of engagement. This kind of stuff kind of gets me. I imagine there is a learning curve for everyone in new relationship, mine doesn’t have to be that much bigger. Maybe it’s more the fact that your ex was the kind of person that would lied to you that made these issues, not that you were her first girlfriend.

alimas last blog post..

by alima on September 14th, 2008 at 10:42 PM

funny. i was typical first girlfriend. coming out. having great sex. and getting all the attention as a new one in the community. when i think of it now – such a bitch i’ve been. and the girl was everybody’s dream, really. but i just couldn’t stick to the one. but every rule has exceptions.

by Dr.PolkaDot on September 17th, 2008 at 3:35 PM

I agree. partly: isn’t it great to know that you changed someone’s life forever, and that she wil never forget you? With time you forget your second, third etc girlfriend, never the first one

by althea on September 21st, 2008 at 7:39 AM

I totally agree! Lmao! I actually think girls who just wanna try it are full of it! And wasting and playing with gay persons minds! I falike straight girls who are curious! Either you do or you don’t! I love this post! Its awesome! Everything is so true! Yay!! I have been dumped for a girl who told the girl she was gay come to find out she wasn’t! They didn’t work… NW the girl is with a man again! Go figure!

by lo on September 22nd, 2008 at 12:21 AM

omg you guys make me feel sad that i will never find love i’m 16 and never had a gf and i have a feeling that when i do get one i well get my heart broken because i get really attatched to people and plus i’m kinda picky i want my girl lesbian NOT Bi

by brittiny on September 24th, 2008 at 12:02 AM

Wow ladies, thanks for all of the comments. I posted this in a few places and I must say that it has generated a lot of feed back. Between this and the post about being over my ex, i’ve gotten a lot of email. that’s pretty cool. Thanks so much for replying.

MzNykis last blog post..Break Free

by MzNyki on September 25th, 2008 at 9:48 AM

To Brittiney who says, “plus i’m kinda picky i want my girl lesbian NOT Bi.”

This is an example of biphobia. Your words suggest that being Bi is a negative characteristic A bisexual person such as myself, is born as one just as you were born a lesbian. Please choose your words carefully. I hope you decide while you’re still so young to become a queer positive supporter as opposed to one of the many within our community who ignorantly discriminate against bisexuals. Why must so many within our oppressed community discriminate? It’s sad to say but I am more hesitant to tell a lesbian I am bisexual than I am to tell any straight person. Perhaps because I feel a greater need for acceptance within my own queer community. Let’s all support each other, we have enough people outside to fight.

I guess this is really a message to our entire community. Best of luck Brittiney is finding a great first girlfriend. It will bring with it many experiences and memories that you’ll never forget. Just wait till your first love…whoa.

by Nina on February 6th, 2009 at 4:11 PM

i agree with you completely.

by kristina on February 7th, 2009 at 3:04 AM

I never have quite gotten what the majority of women;98 out of a hundred; find so attractive about being anyones’ “first” anything.
I am not an institution of higher learning, much less a teacher. “NoBeginnersNeedApply” – that has been kind of a joke but
I have really lived by it. The temptations have been numerous, I suppose- but I can’t say I remember a single one. It’s like the
way many women feel about butch women-they don’t get it- there’s not-
hing there. No attraction. Maybe it’s the life experience I find so attractive-and perhaps it’s the lack of experience, conviction(in the case of the bisexual)and then maybe it’s the knowledge that it’s gonna be one homo-faux-paux after another-getting involved with the unfortunate beginner. I had to learn as I matured and it was a whole
journey. There are no accelerated summer courses to get you where I am
in life right now. And I clearly have not gotten a full grasp od this
thing, I’m still starting and destroying relationships. Even so-
“No Beginners Need Apply”
Thanks

by name ojai2reno on July 9th, 2009 at 6:10 PM

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