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As a self proclaimed Gold Star Dyke I can’t confess that I have much experience with the male private bits. As a matter of fact when I was about 5 I drew the pic to your left as my representation of a penis. (Poor guy)  However, I do have an interesting infatuation with them. It isn’t so much on a sexual level as it is on a mechanical level. Penis’s are easy. They are hard when horny, and they spit slime out of their heads when you get them off. There are no secret spots on a penis, nor do you have to make the alphabet with your tongue when attempting to arouse the penis. Each one is different, but pretty much the same when it comes to the final mission.

Many of my straight girlfriends have said to me, “It must be so much easier to be with a woman, you both have the same parts.”

I am going to go out on a limb here and state that this is only true anatomically. My experience is that each lady town is different, both in appearance, and in what it takes to make it happy, or the female equivalent of spitting slime. (I cannot believe I am typing this, but cannot stop laughing at the same time!)

As a lesbian I do not loath the penis nor do I find it offensive or disgusting. As a matter of fact I think some of them are kind of cute. I can’t say I’ve ever wanted for one, but it is fun to strap one on, if you will. It took the stuff that comes out of one to make me. So in that respect I appreciate the male junk.

Not all lesbians hate the penis. It isn’t your baby maker that doesn’t allow me to love you. It’s just so damn different then what women have. I have been known to say that if I had one of those things dangling between my legs I would never leave the house.

So here’s my lesbian ode to the penis. You are an interesting appendage. There are no tricks to your trade and you are more than often more forth coming than not. (No pun) I may never touch you or ever want you near my bits, but you will always have my interest at heart.