2008
Femme and Butch
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I have written about Femme and I have written about Butch, with little or nothing about the grace, beauty and uniqueness of Femme and Butch in concert. Despite languages failure to adequately capture the love, truth, honor, and mystery of this couple I will brave languages narrow passages, rugged terrains and create footpaths where there are none in effort to give voice and visibility where little exists.
We’ve all had our Butch/Femme crushes, flings, flirts and fucks, so I’ll leave those couplings to the gossip pages where they belong. And instead concentrate on that wildly beautiful defying gravity created between a Butch/Femme pairing where life and love lasts, persists and endures because a spark was ignited and remains burning sans any known excellerant to man.
Part of the uniqueness between this pair is precisely because man does not exist here. Cannot corrupt with his fists, his privilege and his power, cannot plunder and bulldoze the ample forest of women’s love for his own greedy needs. Man cannot comprehend, let alone define what goes on between the love a Butch has for her Femme, or the love a Femme holds in her heart for her Butch. This truly IS no mans land! There goes hetero mimicry right out the window, baby and bathwater both!
There is a profound depth of emotion running between this duo that at times is like quiet waters rushing through undiscovered caverns dripping themselves slowly from stalactites while at other times moving like a raging river with the sheer raw power that has for centuries eroded mountains into molehills! This unparalleled dyad’s union is original love, love not found between the fabricated pages of a child’s fairytale book, not found by simply hand holding in from of an oceanfront, not found with the conditioned consumerism of teddy bears, candy or of flowers, not found anywhere, but between the providential dual worlds of Femme and Butch.
And worlds they are, this Butch and this Femme. That Femme world with her mountainous, craggy feelings, oceans deep, and this Butch world with her vast fence lined “keep out” and “trespassers will be shot on site” emotional wilderness expanse. These two unique worlds with their yin/yang gravitational force circling one another as the earth forever circles the sun.
Each beauteous complete world becoming each others sun. Rising towards each other daily, their suns shining, warming and melting each other. But unlike the earth’s sun, the innumerable love, power and energy eminating from both these worlds, never sets. If anything it brightens and radiates with the freshness of each new day, each breath taken and each morning gained.
The unnameable pulsating pull between Femme and Butch isnt simply romantic, so much as it is infinite. Like the starlight finding our eyes a million years after, so to has Femme and Butch found each other. This ineffable connection existing between this Butch and this Femme surely began before they were born, and just as surely with the unparalleled brilliant love created between them, will go on existing long after.
dirt
I appreciate your lyricism on the femme/butch coupling. However I have to note that whatever genders two people identify with, relationships are relationships. The whole butches are like this, men are like that, white people are like this, black people are like that, in the end doesn’t really fit for most people.
I think we can apprreciate the possible dynamics of *some* femme/butch relationships, but we must try to be aware of buying into stereotypes in our or any community. Yes some feminine women are emotional, but so are some butches. Yes there are no actual men in said dynamic, but that does not mean all men “plunder…the ample forest of women’s love for his own greedy needs.” These are stereotypes & don’t serve the true depths of lesbian expression in my humble opinion.
As a femme, for many years in my younger days, I tried to fit into the stereotype of my gender. It got old trying to be “the way” not only US society in general wanted me to be, but it was down right annoying to have my butch dates try to decide how a femme should look & act at all times. Luckily I’ve known many a butch who did not care for such paradigms and those women were the one’s in the end who were best able to stimulate my mind as well as my body.
dirtywhiteboi please don’t think I’m an asshole, though maybe I am. I just wanted to give you my perspective because in the quest for freedom & sisterhood, I want us all to examine any belief that may take for granted each & every aspect of our true selves. I wish you many wonderful blessings & lessons!
~F