There’s a great quote I read recently, “Lust for knowledge: It’s as legitimate as any other kind of lust, as long as all parties are consenting.” -Sally Bellerose

What I miss most about being close with trans-people is the unconditional support they gave me when I questioned everything about them, LOL. They never lost their patience, although I sure my queries were at times exhausting. Now I am resigned to reading any and every gender book I can get my hands on, (one of my favorites being GenderQueer). But the real knowledge and understanding comes from interactions with trans-people, so I can honestly say that although I like to think I understand a great deal, I have a lot left to learn…and I look forward to learning it!
=D

This question has baffled me for years. It has spawned in me a need for understanding gender, not only as it relates to me, but also as others fight their whole lives (sometimes FOR their OWN lives) to understand it for themselves. It has made me question whether I am actually attracted to butch women at all, or whether I should stop calling myself a lesbian, call myself queer instead and accept that I am mostly attracted to those who walk between the “mainstream” dual genders.

I don’t think all butch women go so far as breast binding. From my experience, many butch women have rather large breasts, which as it goes with any woman, get in the way and become tiresome. Those that do bind may call themselves butch, but I wonder if perhaps, as I said in my post, they lack the acceptance from our community to openly say that they are trans – or even MORE taboo – say they are gender-queer.

In answer to your third, and to me most interesting, question: GLB, correctly, is about what gender you are attracted to. But the basis for being GLB is what gender you are first, and then what gender you are attracted to. T’s appear, most certainly, the only in the acronym that represent something different.

I guess I don’t see it that way, however. I see the T’s as being a part of the whole spectrum, the part of our group that should really make us all question what is it that makes a girl who likes women a lesbian and a man that likes men a gay man. Who is a girl? What is a girl? Who is a boy? What is a boy?

Should we really let the norm of society decide for us what each gender is supposed to be? There is a great lesson to learn from the trans community about gender vs sexual attraction, and there are even greater lessons to be learned about how the two are even related.

Thank you, Sara, so much for your reply. I love getting my brain going this early in the morning with something I am so passionate about. =D

1. If a lesbian is a female who is only has an attraction for other females and does not like anything about a male. Why do they try so hard to look like a male with short hair, breast binding, male clothes and such? It seems to me that a lesbian would want to avoid looking male.

2. If you look at the flip side of that question, why isn’t there a small section of gay men trying their best to look female? Drag queens not withstanding here.

We always clump GLBT together in one group. It isn’t one group though. The first three in that group are defined by which sex they are attracted, while the T aren’t based on which sex they are attracted to but being born the wrong gender. So I ask.

What does being born the wrong gender have to do with which gender you are attracted?

Taboo…? The only thing that should be taboo are the labels. I was born a male, have the body and mind of a female, and I’m a very sexual being. Screw the bias, screw the labels, and screw all the people not open minded enough to accept me for who I am.

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