thelesbianlifestyle.com

First of all, thank you for sharing your experiences. By doing so, you are helping others.

You’re not alone, Tabby. Not by a long shot. There are a lot of women and some men who cut. Most of the time it is a response to severe childhood trauma, often of a sexual nature. There are other causes, too, of course.

I’m not a cutter, myself, but I do have a long history of similarly destructive behaviors (alcoholism, suicide attempts, etc.). And I know a lot of women who have struggled with SI (self-injury). It doesn’t make you bad. It simply means you have a psychological condition that needs treatment. No different than if you had a chronic medical condition like diabetes that needs treatment.

There are alternatives to cutting (drawing on yourself with a red pen, snapping a rubber band around your wrist, etc.). But it’s important to get help for addressing the deeper issues, which are often tied with guilt, shame and feelings of worthlessness. Check out http://www.selfinjury.com/. Talk to a therapist. If you are in the U.S., you can call 1-800-DONTCUT.

Also, you’re not alone in struggling with your sexuality. Most of us have. You’re in good company.

People pleasing behaviors are a form of codependency. It means that you base your self worth on how others treat you. I struggled with this for years and still do to some extent. Codependents Anonymous, a 12-Step group similar to AA, helped me with this tremendously. It helped me find my true self worth and my own identity. Other helpful organizations are Adult Children of Alcoholics and Al-Anon.

You are worth loving, Tabby. And you have a right to be happy regardless of circumstances. The only question you need answer is, Are you willing to get help? You deserve to get better. And you don’t need to do it alone. Trust the process.

Peace out,
Dharma Kelleher
http://www.dharmakelleher.com

Dharma Kelleher´s last blog post..The Opposite of Hate and Violence Isn’t Surrender

Hi Tabby. I have a web-friend who use to be a cutter. We had a slight disagreement over something and I had to stop talking with her one day. The next day I sent her an E, and she was so surprised that I was still talking to her. I told her that we were friends and I was upset about something the previous day but that was over. She told me that it’s part of her condition, that people don’t want to be around her or something, and she wants approval. I told her that in the real world, people can disagree and even argue but that doesn’t mean they have to stop caring about each other. I’m learning much since being on the web. I want to say to you that this is YOUR world. Your space is your space. I hope you will get any help that you need — as Dharma said trust the process. Take care. –Salty

Salty´s last blog post..RUSTY 4 – Season’s Greetings (c)2008

Hi Tabby,

From the age of 15 until I was 22 I was a cutter. Today it has been 2 years 4 months and 21 days since I did it last. It’s really hard to do. It sucks. But it is doable. I remember that rush, that feeling of relief when metal parts skin and blood begins to flow. I remember the pain, the sadness, and anger…

I have a long way to go before I consider myself “healthy.” But I’m getting there. And I’m doing it without hurting myself. I still think about it when I’m upset. I still want to do it when I can’t deal with whatever I’m feeling. But in the end, I don’t. And that feeling…feeling like I don’t have to cut myself, o hit myself, or try to break bones…the feeling of pride I get when I overcome the urge to do it….THAT feeling is better than any feeling in the world. You’ll know what I mean one day. I just hope its sooner than later.

<3

Loverbunny´s last blog post..I want to fuck you like an animal…