thelesbianlifestyle.com

My grandmother and I went to go see Milk last night. It was the first time I saw it in theatres, which was nice because I could catch all of the things I missed during the first time I watched it. We sat in the theatre and bawled like babies. Afterward, my grandmother looked at me right in the eyes and told me, “I had no idea.” We spoke about how sad the movie was and about how my grandmother learned a few things about that time period. “I had no idea all this stuff was going on,” she said, “…we were trying to move to Texas and I was trying to raise your dad!” It was an interesting learning experience for her and I was glad.

She told me that she had had no clue about gay people who had been victimized for their sexuality, which I understood because before I came out homosexuals were a gray area and out of focus for my family. I think it was a hard lesson because afterward she looked at me and I saw fear in her eyes for her granddaughter. I smiled and told her that acts of homophobia, though they happened every day (I used my aunt and uncle’s “generous hospitality” as an example) were not as numerous as they once were. I hoped. She smiled, and nodded, and I drove her to her car. We had a very nice grandmother-granddaughter date.

As I drove back to Wimberley to hang out with my friend Jordan, I thought about the difference that movie, and my efforts to educate, have made on my grandma. She reads what I write and she learns from it, as do many others, and I can only be thankful for that. It’s a gift that I can reach out with my words to show people things–whether it be educational, dreamy, creative, serious, or just plain stupid. Thank you for reading, if you are.

I know I’m not the best credible source for learning anything. I swear like a sailor and let’s face it, I’m biased. I can’t help it. I try my best not to be, but it’s hard when you feel so powerfully about a subject and someone’s attempting to dehumanize it. The lion inside rears its head and the storm gathers above and then it’s time to raise some hell whether I like it or not.

I’m speaking primarily of an incident at The Lesbian Lifestyle, where I posted my piece “Reflections on Violence”. It received (and is receiving) several comments, including the unlooked for opinion of a straight woman, who one day decided to troll a lesbian website. That’s fine and dandy, really. Freedom of information and internet, and all that. What I can’t understand, and I’m sure most people will agree, is why she thought it might be a good idea to come to a gay-orientated website and talk about how marriage for gay people is superfluous.

I try to respect all opinions, but this is a touchy subject, and I’m afraid the lion is rearing his head. If you read the comments, which are many, you’ll find her argument basically sums up to, “Ew, gross, gay people. Just drop all this rights thing and enjoy your lives in private.”

That right there is a warning flag and a neon flasher and cop cars from three different counties and a K-9 unit to boot. When someone tells a minority group that has faced and will continue to face discrimination both violent and nonviolent but so very hurtful to shut up and deal with it, a swastika comes to mind. I dunno about you but I start to think that someone has a bit of a backwards mindset, and let me explain why.

It does not matter if you’re gay, straight, black, white, purple, tall, short, or any wide difference in the world. If you think it’s okay to tell a minority group of people who cannot change the way they are that they don’t matter, then you need to rethink your brain functions. You need to seek therapy. You need to open your mind and actually get to know the people you’re telling “fuck off” to. You need to realize that you are crushing lives with talk like that. It is not compassionate, it is not loving towards your fellow man, and it hurts.

However! I am very pleased to tell you that it is comments and bullshit that people like Denise Stafford vomit up that make our community gather its skirts, lift ‘em up, and ready a big ol’ can of whoopass. It makes us stronger. It brings us together. When we are united, thanks to this woman’s rash comments, it only means that we are closer to achieving our goal of equal rights. When discrimination rears its ugly, ugly head, we’re only brought closer together. I want you to focus on that the next time a troll comes to tell us, “drop this rights thing”.

“Drop this rights thing.”

No. Never. We are human beings too, and we deserve the same fundamental rights as every other human being. Because you have told us this, hoping to demean us, you make us stronger. You make us fight back harder. You make us more encouraged to surpass you–and believe me, Denise Stafford, we will surpass you.

Go on home now. We have work to do!

Chelsea