thelesbianlifestyle.com

Today is lesbian health day and so I feel the urge to share a little true vignette of my past and put an issue on the table…cervical smear tests. The jury was out medically as to whether I was eligible/ at risk and required a smear test as conventional penetrative sex was just not my thing. Penetrative sex is often seen as the predisposing risk factor for cervical cancer and is the golden question to determine eligibility or need in doctors surgeries.

Despite being sexually active (some may say sexually hyper-active but hey.. its all relative)…. I have never been what the heteronormative milieu would class as sexually active: I just don’t and never have slept with penis-bearers. Dildo bearers are indeed another matter. Furthermore although my exes resemble a United Colours of Benetton advert when it comes to ethnic diversity (read very diverse here), they all have one thing in common – fingers and hands and potentially scratchy nails. Plus we are all at risk from the HPV- Human Papilloma Virus as we can’t be entirely sure of the sexual history of each of our partners and their partners…don’t want to scare anyone but remember the L Word chart… well imagine HPV or STD risk written in brackets after each name).

My point, and I do have one (I keep it in my bedside drawer for the voyeueristic who like such details) is that, I was still at risk of injuring my cervix in sex, albeit slightly. Any flaw in the healing of this can predispose to cells multiplying more than they should and …in short…. cervical cancer. Moreover, lesbians are often under-represented in medical surveys and I fail to be convinced that only penetrative sex leaves one at risk of  cervical cancer, I think the issue gets confused with an intact hymen frankly.

However, I must admit I found myself very backwards at coming forwards in getting a smear test, sexually active questions had always been likned to pregnancy risk and unless there is about to be another virgin birth, this just didn’t apply to me. I know plenty of other lesbians who are worried about this too. Finally in my late twenties I found a GP (doctor) who was sympathetic and here and decided to give her my smear test cherry…. All was fine and I urge other women to get themselves checked just to be safe.

Here are my tips:

1. Ask for a female doctor, choose one you feel comfortable with.

2, Explain if you really aren’t into people being “into” you, should you feel she is receptive enough for frank dialogue, and that you are nervous about the procedure.

3, Ask for a double appointment (this works in the UK) so there is less time pressure and things are more relaxed.

4, Remember if you change your mind and say stop then stop is what they must do (indeed a doctor continuing without consent is classed as Aggaravated Bodily Harm) remember it is your body and you are in control,

5. Perhaps don’t follow my example and feel the need to break the ice when they’re lubing up the speculum and say “What no chocolates or candlelight?”

(Glad my GP had a good sense of humour)

And, well, lie back and think of … wine and chocolates.