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The Devine Satchel is made with the same technology that went into Mary Poppins’ carpet bag, enabling her to tote an apartment full of lamps and things in one manageable, fashionable bag. The bottomless carpet bag has come to the 21st century as the Devine Satchel, complete with chic handbag styling and faux leather croco material and has been repurposed to contain a plethora of sex toys. The Devine Satchel holds ALL of my Sex Toys. And I do mean all of them.

I’d like to show you what I managed to fit into my Devine Satchel, in video form. (My camera doesn’t do sound well so I didn’t bother trying to narrate, and instead I added some music for entertainment value.)

If I counted correctly, that’s 18 or 19 items. And, YES! A hitachi fits in, with all the other stuff, and room to spare! My hitachi vibrator has now been upgraded from living in the magazine archival box I used to keep it in, and now lives in my Devine Satchel. While this bag isn’t going to replace my Toybox XL from For Your Nymphomation that I reviewed earlier, it easily could. I hate to say that, because I love FYN, but the Devine Satchel looks like a chic handbag rather than a small suitcase and for this reason it’s more discreet. Nobody would suspect that cute handbag is full of dildos.

Drawbacks and things to think about:

• If I were tweaking the design of this bag, I would change the solid base so that it isn’t removable. Being removable means that it has the potential to move around unless there’s stuff in it to hold it down. The other odd feature is the elastic inside that’s meant to keep oils, batteries and condoms tamed. They don’t seem that effective. I would add some internal pockets or pouches for bullet vibes and lubes and nix the elastics. Still, overall, I love this bag. I love it so much that I’m tempted to use it as a purse, just to keep it near me.

• My only real complaint is the lock. Well, more than the lock, my complaint is that I’m an idiot. I keep jamming these tiny little sex toy box locks. I managed to fix this one, but you really need to be careful about these things. Just stick it in, do what you gotta do, and pull it back out. Don’t try and fuck around with it… you know what I mean, and no dirty puns intended.

• One legitimate drawback is that there’s just two main compartments, and a sneaky toy could go underneath the divider and play with the toys on the other side. This kind of toy liaison isn’t a problem if all the toys in the bag are silicone, metal or hard plastic but would be bad if one toy happened to be a red jelly toy and another was white silicone. Not like I’m speaking from experience or anything. I learned long ago that some toys don’t play well with others, and if you have toys with the potential to stain or become stained, you’ll want them in a pouch or a plastic bag before you toss them in the Devine Satchel. Additionally, if any of your toys are glass or somehow in need of total isolation, they’ll need to travel separately. This bag is really only good for toys that play well together.

Lastly, something I love about it:

• The zippers fit together to be locked with the included tiny lock and key. The way they do this is really quite snazzy. No other way to show you than to show you. Behold.

So you can see that the Devine Satchel has some pretty nice features, such as the secure lock, and is a classy and discreet way to tote your toys and anything else you can fit to a hot date or a romantic weekend. It also comes in red and pink, so consider choosing this as a sexy gift for someone you love this Valentine’s Day!

BONUS REVIEWLET! This came with a free sample of Afterglow Wipes. Ever get done making sex and have a few sticky toys and bodies? Don’t we all. Well, instead of reaching around for various towels and toy cleaners to mop up your messes, Afterglow Wipes are cloth and cleaner in one. Whip it out and clean it up. Easy. And I like easy.