Comments on: Lesbians and Body Image? http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/2009/01/30/lesbians-and-body-image/ Mon, 21 May 2012 19:48:39 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Andi http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/2009/01/30/lesbians-and-body-image/comment-page-1/#comment-4400 Andi Wed, 04 Feb 2009 18:19:48 +0000 http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/?p=2499#comment-4400 I can certainly understand having body insecurities. When finding myself in the moment of undressing, I prefer dim light, but when in the heat of the moment generally disregard body issues - mine or hers. After the weight loss surgery, I found myself with a lot of loose skin, cellulite, basically a trainwreck from the waist down, but it's mine, and I can't change it without going under the knife, which I'm not prepared to do. Comfort has a lot to do with positioning (bad knees can impede a lot). Getting off the subject here, but basically when her body is proffered and her skin is waiting for me, I'm all lust, no thought. Sometimes I replay, but never to the extent of apologizing for the way my body does what it does, and certainly not to the extent of giving up the intimacy, either.<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('4400','Andi'); return false;">Reply</a> - <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('4400','Andi','I can certainly understand having body insecurities. When finding myself in the moment of undressing, I prefer dim light, but when in the heat of the moment generally disregard body issues - mine or hers. After the weight loss surgery, I found myself with a lot of loose skin, cellulite, basically a trainwreck from the waist down, but it\'s mine, and I can\'t change it without going under the knife, which I\'m not prepared to do.\r\n \r\nComfort has a lot to do with positioning (bad knees can impede a lot).\r\nGetting off the subject here, but basically when her body is proffered and her skin is waiting for me, I\'m all lust, no thought. Sometimes I replay, but never to the extent of apologizing for the way my body does what it does, and certainly not to the extent of giving up the intimacy, either.'); return false;">Quote</a></div> I can certainly understand having body insecurities. When finding myself in the moment of undressing, I prefer dim light, but when in the heat of the moment generally disregard body issues – mine or hers. After the weight loss surgery, I found myself with a lot of loose skin, cellulite, basically a trainwreck from the waist down, but it’s mine, and I can’t change it without going under the knife, which I’m not prepared to do.

Comfort has a lot to do with positioning (bad knees can impede a lot).
Getting off the subject here, but basically when her body is proffered and her skin is waiting for me, I’m all lust, no thought. Sometimes I replay, but never to the extent of apologizing for the way my body does what it does, and certainly not to the extent of giving up the intimacy, either.

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]]> By: sugar_baby http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/2009/01/30/lesbians-and-body-image/comment-page-1/#comment-4393 sugar_baby Wed, 04 Feb 2009 01:28:25 +0000 http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/?p=2499#comment-4393 I don't think lesbians are any less prone to social and culture influence than straight women are. If WOMEN, regardless of sexual orientation, continue to grow up in this hypocritical society of: "Be comfortable with who YOU are, (but you'd better be skinny too, 'cuz those are the only bitches who model MY clothes)" they are going to have hang-ups about not only what they themselves look like, but also what a potential partner looks like. Please, I absolutely cannot get started on the bullshit media and how females are negatively affected (from a "pursued" aspect but also from the "pursuer" side as well....UGH)<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('4393','sugar_baby'); return false;">Reply</a> - <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('4393','sugar_baby','I don\'t think lesbians are any less prone to social and culture influence than straight women are. If WOMEN, regardless of sexual orientation, continue to grow up in this hypocritical society of: \r\n\r\n\"Be comfortable with who YOU are, (but you\'d better be skinny too, \'cuz those are the only bitches who model MY clothes)\"\r\n\r\nthey are going to have hang-ups about not only what they themselves look like, but also what a potential partner looks like. \r\n\r\nPlease, I absolutely cannot get started on the bullshit media and how females are negatively affected (from a \"pursued\" aspect but also from the \"pursuer\" side as well....UGH)'); return false;">Quote</a></div> I don’t think lesbians are any less prone to social and culture influence than straight women are. If WOMEN, regardless of sexual orientation, continue to grow up in this hypocritical society of:

“Be comfortable with who YOU are, (but you’d better be skinny too, ‘cuz those are the only bitches who model MY clothes)”

they are going to have hang-ups about not only what they themselves look like, but also what a potential partner looks like.

Please, I absolutely cannot get started on the bullshit media and how females are negatively affected (from a “pursued” aspect but also from the “pursuer” side as well….UGH)

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]]> By: Anonymous http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/2009/01/30/lesbians-and-body-image/comment-page-1/#comment-4392 Anonymous Wed, 04 Feb 2009 00:42:23 +0000 http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/?p=2499#comment-4392 I met and became very active with a group of lesbians online about 2 years ago. I developed a mad crush on one of the ladies. Because I have weight issues, I didn't post my picture online for a long time. Anyway, there was another woman in the group that did post a picture of herself. She had no interest whatsoever in the woman that I had the crush on. But she fit the "look" that my crush likes so my crush pursued the other woman. I was devastated. So I totally understand your feelings and agree with you and the woman who posted her insecurities of being with another woman. If I don't have "the look" that other women want, what chance do I stand of finding a long-term relationship? Who knew other women even had a look they found desirable? I've always been attracted to a person's personality first (seriously, I'm not lying about this) and then they became physically attractive to me. Am I in the minority in feeling this way?<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('4392','Anonymous'); return false;">Reply</a> - <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('4392','Anonymous','I met and became very active with a group of lesbians online about 2 years ago. I developed a mad crush on one of the ladies. Because I have weight issues, I didn\'t post my picture online for a long time. Anyway, there was another woman in the group that did post a picture of herself. She had no interest whatsoever in the woman that I had the crush on. But she fit the \"look\" that my crush likes so my crush pursued the other woman. I was devastated. \r\n \r\nSo I totally understand your feelings and agree with you and the woman who posted her insecurities of being with another woman. If I don\'t have \"the look\" that other women want, what chance do I stand of finding a long-term relationship? Who knew other women even had a look they found desirable? I\'ve always been attracted to a person\'s personality first (seriously, I\'m not lying about this) and then they became physically attractive to me. Am I in the minority in feeling this way?'); return false;">Quote</a></div> I met and became very active with a group of lesbians online about 2 years ago. I developed a mad crush on one of the ladies. Because I have weight issues, I didn’t post my picture online for a long time. Anyway, there was another woman in the group that did post a picture of herself. She had no interest whatsoever in the woman that I had the crush on. But she fit the “look” that my crush likes so my crush pursued the other woman. I was devastated.

So I totally understand your feelings and agree with you and the woman who posted her insecurities of being with another woman. If I don’t have “the look” that other women want, what chance do I stand of finding a long-term relationship? Who knew other women even had a look they found desirable? I’ve always been attracted to a person’s personality first (seriously, I’m not lying about this) and then they became physically attractive to me. Am I in the minority in feeling this way?

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]]> By: Carnivalesq http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/2009/01/30/lesbians-and-body-image/comment-page-1/#comment-4346 Carnivalesq Mon, 02 Feb 2009 03:36:26 +0000 http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/?p=2499#comment-4346 Hm. This is tough. I do see both sides of this. Everyone is different. I've been with men and women. I've been with skinny women and large women, and oddly enough I felt more at ease with myself with one more slender woman than I did with others of various sizes/shapes/body types. That had to do with my comfort level and trust of her as a person, and how in love I was with her at that time. I was two or more times her size (I emphasize she was tiny). I had hangups, yeah, but I did not stop going back for more. In any relationship, really, if you're comfortable with your partner, you can let the hangups go and trust that they find you attractive. So, I can see the side of the argument that says the relationship must not have been great/she must not have been that good a lover/she must not have been that into it, etc., if she couldn't get past it. Yes, there must have been something wrong. However, body hangups are a very serious thing. I'd agree with dancer_inbarefeet about the fact that it doesn't have to do with the woman, so much as with herself, except that in the article she states she was okay with men but women are, to her, mirrors of herself that she watches and sees the effects of gravity on a female body and is taken back. The article says she didn't go back to women for six years. What about men? I'm inclined to think she likely did sleep with some men, and if you're comfortable with yourself with one partner and not another, that sends the signal that you're... more comfortable with one partner than the other. Maybe this woman is more into men. That's not a sin, but maybe it's true.<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('4346','Carnivalesq'); return false;">Reply</a> - <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('4346','Carnivalesq','Hm. This is tough. I do see both sides of this. \r\n\r\nEveryone is different. I\'ve been with men and women. I\'ve been with skinny women and large women, and oddly enough I felt more at ease with myself with one more slender woman than I did with others of various sizes\/shapes\/body types. That had to do with my comfort level and trust of her as a person, and how in love I was with her at that time. I was two or more times her size (I emphasize she was tiny). I had hangups, yeah, but I did not stop going back for more. In any relationship, really, if you\'re comfortable with your partner, you can let the hangups go and trust that they find you attractive. So, I can see the side of the argument that says the relationship must not have been great\/she must not have been that good a lover\/she must not have been that into it, etc., if she couldn\'t get past it. Yes, there must have been something wrong. \r\n\r\nHowever, body hangups are a very serious thing. I\'d agree with dancer_inbarefeet about the fact that it doesn\'t have to do with the woman, so much as with herself, except that in the article she states she was okay with men but women are, to her, mirrors of herself that she watches and sees the effects of gravity on a female body and is taken back.\r\n\r\nThe article says she didn\'t go back to women for six years. What about men? I\'m inclined to think she likely did sleep with some men, and if you\'re comfortable with yourself with one partner and not another, that sends the signal that you\'re... more comfortable with one partner than the other. Maybe this woman is more into men. That\'s not a sin, but maybe it\'s true.'); return false;">Quote</a></div> Hm. This is tough. I do see both sides of this.

Everyone is different. I’ve been with men and women. I’ve been with skinny women and large women, and oddly enough I felt more at ease with myself with one more slender woman than I did with others of various sizes/shapes/body types. That had to do with my comfort level and trust of her as a person, and how in love I was with her at that time. I was two or more times her size (I emphasize she was tiny). I had hangups, yeah, but I did not stop going back for more. In any relationship, really, if you’re comfortable with your partner, you can let the hangups go and trust that they find you attractive. So, I can see the side of the argument that says the relationship must not have been great/she must not have been that good a lover/she must not have been that into it, etc., if she couldn’t get past it. Yes, there must have been something wrong.

However, body hangups are a very serious thing. I’d agree with dancer_inbarefeet about the fact that it doesn’t have to do with the woman, so much as with herself, except that in the article she states she was okay with men but women are, to her, mirrors of herself that she watches and sees the effects of gravity on a female body and is taken back.

The article says she didn’t go back to women for six years. What about men? I’m inclined to think she likely did sleep with some men, and if you’re comfortable with yourself with one partner and not another, that sends the signal that you’re… more comfortable with one partner than the other. Maybe this woman is more into men. That’s not a sin, but maybe it’s true.

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]]> By: dancer_inbarefeet http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/2009/01/30/lesbians-and-body-image/comment-page-1/#comment-4336 dancer_inbarefeet Sat, 31 Jan 2009 18:48:54 +0000 http://thelesbianlifestyle.com/?p=2499#comment-4336 I don't think this has anything to do with the fact she had gay sex. How you feel about yourself and your body image has to do with how comfortable you are with the person you are sleeping with (male OR female) and your own insecurities and self-esteem. She obviously has problems with her body image and that is something entirely in HER own mind that she needs to fix. It was caused less by the woman she was sleeping with and more so (in my opinion) by her own personal thoughts and comparisons.<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('4336','dancer_inbarefeet'); return false;">Reply</a> - <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('4336','dancer_inbarefeet','I don\'t think this has anything to do with the fact she had gay sex. How you feel about yourself and your body image has to do with how comfortable you are with the person you are sleeping with (male OR female) and your own insecurities and self-esteem. She obviously has problems with her body image and that is something entirely in HER own mind that she needs to fix. It was caused less by the woman she was sleeping with and more so (in my opinion) by her own personal thoughts and comparisons.'); return false;">Quote</a></div> I don’t think this has anything to do with the fact she had gay sex. How you feel about yourself and your body image has to do with how comfortable you are with the person you are sleeping with (male OR female) and your own insecurities and self-esteem. She obviously has problems with her body image and that is something entirely in HER own mind that she needs to fix. It was caused less by the woman she was sleeping with and more so (in my opinion) by her own personal thoughts and comparisons.
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