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It’s time for another porn review courtesy of Sex Toys. This time it’s Girls Go Hardcore, another DVD done by Abby Winters. This one is the same format as the first, two scenes with two sets of girls. In this one, though, one girl, Shane, is in both scenes but with different co-stars. I’m glad of this, because Shane is hot in a hippie girl with dreadlocks sort of way. I’m quite into this, but if you’re not, you may prefer Next Door Girls or something different entirely. As always, Abby Winters films are sex positive and made by women. I like that.

Things I Noticed (How could you not?):

• The girls are attractive. Shane is very hot. Shane’s also very into the girlsex, which is always fun to see. Laurin from the first scene is a very pretty blond, and Fallon is more punk and has sexy short dark hair. These girls are all slender but not necessarily classically attractive. Shane has dreadlocks, and she and Fallon in particular are what some would consider “alternative.” Depending on where you live, however, they might be considered “girls next door.”

• The girl from the first scene, Fallon, seemed overly excited about everything that was going on. If I didn’t know any better, I would think she orgasmed for the entire duration of the shoot. Excitement that intense wears thin on me. If it doesn’t wear thin on you, then this is not a con. The pro of this is that she’s obviously very into it and very open sexually, so that is a good thing.

• For some reason, the first scene just didn’t do it for me. Fallon’s excitement distracted me from the action, which is a bummer because Shane rocked it like nobodies business. Porn is one of those things tho, it’s hit or miss, so where I was easily distracted, someone else might just love it.

• The second scene is better, but randomly I found myself making faces at the screen and goggling in general. Shane did WHAT? Why did she bite her hip? Why so much grunting? Shane and Fallon were very busy and quite loud together, and sometimes it seemed fake. I didn’t doubt that they were enjoying themselves, but I really had a sense that they put on a lot of their actions for the benefit of the viewer, and I don’t like feeling that way when I watch porn. I’d rather feel like the actors hardly notice they’re being filmed, and act natural.

I don’t have a lot more to say here, unfortunately. Overall, if I were grading this like a porny school paper I’d have to give it a 75. -15 off the bat for the first scene with Extremely! Excited! Lesbian! Sex!!1! -5 for Shane beginning scene 2 with a weird dildo stethoscope. Creepy, random, and pointless. Also, -5 for the awkward factor, and this covers just plain awkwardness, as well as random awkward humping, and the superfluous grunting. It passes well above a would-be-failing-65 and gets TLL APPROVED however, because the girls ARE cute, and they’re not hot in the fake supermodel sense of false nails and hair and tits. Also, the enthusiasm does win a few points because it’s obvious they’re having a lot of fun. Maybe too much fun. Unfortunately, I did not have as much fun as they did. I’ll stick with the Girls Next Door, thanks.